I could love you if you let me

but you keep me outside your heart

my fingertips stroke at the pulse of your vulnerability

No, I guess you’re keeping your heart safe for someone else

My thoughts race for hours stirring up all the ways I don’t measure up

I’d drown in self doubt if Sleep didn’t take mercy on me.

Your heart beats for her but will it bleed?

No flower petal or wishing star is willing to take that bet with me.

See loving you would be bad for my health

My heart would sacrifice me in order to make room for you

And without a home in yours, I grow weak and insecure

Starving for your love would be the death of me.

So this is self preservation baby

I’ve bled too much for you

It’s my life or yours,

and I choose Mine.

-June 2017