Do You Even Know What You Want?

You’ve chosen her

and I can’t blame the heart for what it wants

But is it everything you thought it would be?

Or do you find you thoughts slipping to me?

First love is hard to beat

I don’t wish to be the girl fighting

a one sided battle that can’t be won.

Maybe loving me would have been too easy

What’s the allure in a love that’s given freely?

Is that why you chase after my attention now?

I know you hit me up every night she let’s you down.

-June 2017

16 thoughts on “Do You Even Know What You Want?”

      1. By all means fresh. Dominating in a manner which suggests the girl (the first love) is somehow in control of the man’s life, despite their love no longer being prevalent. As though she could (with enough will) have him back with a click of her finger. As though her power over his mind is far too strong to resist because she was his first love.

        This isn’t desperation from a losing side. This is an unresolved power struggle with the losing opposition still retaining the cards to power. And it frightens this man, to know she still holds the keys to his heart. That’s why her questions are so dominating and forceful. She pressures him.

        1. This is so interesting to get this feedback thank you! You’re absolutely right, the first love is in control and holds the male characters heart! I think a lot of people can relate to how strong a first love is because we’re so naive and vulnerable back then.

          And you’re right it’s not really desperation from a losing side because the man “hits me up every time she’s let you down”. I don’t think I made the Third character well known enough though. The ‘her’ he choose in the first line is that first love and that’s why the narrator doesn’t want to fight “a one sided battle that can’t be won” against that first love.

          You’re perspective is so insightful though to continue with the first love in power, asking and demanding these questions of the man. It’s that third character though, not the first love wondering if she holds any piece of his heart and wondering why he still thinks of her and hits her up if he finally has chosen his first love. “Is it everything you thought it would be”

          1. You’ve managed to create different perspectives of power between these three people due to the way you structure words. I find that fascinating.

            Also, I would say it’s within your own insight as a writer as to how well you’ve captured the character of the man. Men in general – most wouldn’t care to admit – are as much a slave to their own sexual instincts as they are to their emotions. And it’s within these emotions where he feels powerless, because unlike physical attraction, there is no release.
            Heart wants what the hearts wants.

            He’s in chains to the first love and no matter how hard he tugs that bond between him and the first love will always keep him in a bind.

            I symphasize (understand) the character of the man in this poem because he’s so relatable. And within that believability of the first love which we all feel, I can gather so much about the power struggles here. This triangle, if you will.

            Quite reminiscent of things I’ve written in the past also.

            I would like to read a part 2 to this. There’s definitely a story here.

          2. Thank you so much! I think each character may have some power but it’s all changing, each person is losing and gaining some.

            You make an interesting point, I secretly think men enjoy cuddling more than women perhaps because it’s a good emotional outlet. Ah yes, nothing makes you feel more powerless than when your heart starts chasing after someone.

            Maybe we could learn more about these chains in part 2! perhaps from the first love’s perspective?

            Oh yeah? Any works in particular of yours that come to mind?

          3. Explore the chains in part 2, definitely.

            As for a man’s emotional outlet, you are indeed spot-on about that. It’s a strange combination of being a guilty pleasure mixed with intimacy. Vulnerability meets comfort.

            “Oh yeah? Any works in particular of yours that come to mind?”

            – Not directly no, with what’s available on my blog at this current time. Residing with the inks & paper.
            Closest thing would be my recent entry; “Short Extracts: Satisfaction In Submission” – Not so much a tale of outstanding love, but the power struggle of chasing love only to be refused in favor of…short lived fun.

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