You might have thought that the fact that I now have a Boyfriend would solve the question of if I’m dateable or not. Well, I think the Jury might still be out on that one because Fun Fact – you can still try to ruin your love life whether you’re casually dating or married!

I’ve spoken about my intimacy issues a few times (comfortable, dating curse 2, ) and I know there is still a lot of work I have to do on myself with elevating my self-esteem to the healthiest point and not letting my insecurities consume my thoughts.

Like most girls, when I like a boy I will try to learn about his interests and hobbies to see if they’re something I might enjoy or to decide if maybe he’s not as perfect for me as I thought. Whether through unrequited love or boredom, my obsession to stalk social media has mastered some pretty impressive skills over the years (ladies, I think you understand lol).

So you scroll and stalk until suddenly its 2013 (okay fine, 2009) and you’ve found the ex girlfriend… and the friends with benefits and the almost relationship girl. You’ve dug deep enough to uncover every skeleton in his past. Unfortunately, the most likely scenario here is that you’ve dug too deep and you’ve made enough room to put yourself into an early grave as well.

played self

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I take full responsibility for knowing I have insecure tendencies and still stalking anyway. I’ve been lied to before so I tell myself that I want to see all the hits coming this time. Instead, I’m letting the past be the third person in our relationship. My insecurities and trust issues are the couple we most often go on double dates with.

I have to learn to stop digging into the past, it’s not the present for a reason. Leave it where it’s supposed to be. Take comfort in the present and treat each person as an individual instead of assigning him character traits of the boys who have let you down. He is not one of them, do not let your fears push him into being like them.

Stop stalking so much you fool!