Your Dating Flaws

There are so many articles on the Internet about not wasting time on guys who don’t pursue you honestly and whole –heartedly from the start. Since these articles are mostly for women written by women, it nearly makes sense that all the blame seems to be on the guy. We assume it’s always the guy with the commitment issues and his inability to open up that causes him to ruin relationships. We assume the women have no hang ups of their own that would make them unready for a relationship.

Of course, I agree that these men are emotionally unavailable and it’s highly unlikely that they will be in a relationship with anyone anytime soon. But I also think we’re fooling ourselves if we think we’re nothing but innocent bystanders in this. Why are we picking these men? Do we hope to fix them? Do we see something in them that resembles ourselves? Are we not ready for love and just trying to project the blame somewhere else? Are we really just trying to fix ourselves?

If you want the perfect man then you also have to be flawless, which is unrealistic! Perfect does not exist. Relationships are about accepting flaws and how flaws work well together. While others say he’s too restless to settle down, she is excited by his sense of adventure. Some try to say she’s too demanding but he admires the way she loves life so fiercely.

Maybe we attract those that are similar to ourselves. We’re compassionate for flaws we recognize in others. We treat others as kindly as we wish we could treat ourselves. I try to be open -minded and understanding when a guy is opening up to me about a scar of his because I fear someone judging my scars harshly. When I met a guy with intimacy issues, I know not to push him too quickly because I know how easily I scare away too. And perhaps sometimes I think, “if I work on his issues, maybe mine can go away too”.

We are all flawed (despite what Beyonce sings) and we will always be flawed, but that doesn’t make us unlovable. It just takes the right person to see your stars when everyone was seeing an empty sky.

6 thoughts on “Your Dating Flaws”

  1. very interesting post with a number of great points… I agree with you that if anyone wants a perfect man (or generally, a perfect partner), then they also have to be perfect or flawless… unfortunately, in this world, there is nothing like a flawless or perfect person. Perfection does not exist in this world: it’s a trait that only exists in the stars, or in heaven… we all have to learn how to accept flaws in our partners and work together in harmony with them. thank you

  2. Wow! So loved this post and the truth you speak!! Like the old saying, “If You’re wanting to find Prince Charming then you better be Cinderella!!” Love the message your shared here.
    I think you would really love the book (I loved it) The Psychology of Romantic Love by Nathaniel Branden – It’s on Amazon. Check it out!
    xoxo 😘💕🌹😊

  3. My biggest flaw, is in stopping being who I truly am, to try and be what the other person wants. Also, failing to notice that others sometimes take advantage of this, and start to do less and less, versus learning to work together and grow together. This can be in daily life, shared friends, personal hobbies, etc. You can only mask those differences for so long before it becomes an unavoidable issue, and if only one person puts forth effort to change, will fail.

  4. Hello, am new to your blog and have been reading some posts, of late. Had been wondering how one-sided a bunch of those writings were till I came across this gem. Thank you for normalizing flaws and making them universal.. Relationships are supposed to be an effort to help each other see those flaws and slowly fix them. However, the strongest bonds break when those flaws are talked about. Do watch out for my next one..

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