Why dependability is the most attractive quality in a man

Now I’m a Taurus girl so security and stability make me weak in the knees but hear me out because I think you’re all about to swoon a little too.

 

A dependable guy just gets better as a relationship progresses. When you first meet him, he responds to your text in a timely manner, shows up to a date at the time he said he would, and doesn’t leave you guessing about how the relationship may be going. 

 

A dependable guy isn’t playing nearly as many games as the average guy in this modern dating app culture. You’re not getting left on read and you don’t have to play the game of who texts who first. You’re already more secure in the connection. You know where you stand because he’s standing steady. 

 

In a relationship, you can depend on him to be there for you emotionally and for him to hold a steady belief in your relationship growing. In a marriage, you can depend on him to be a partner in taking care of the household and be a stand up father to your kids. 

 

A dependable guy will be there physically when he says he will and he’ll be there for you emotionally when you need him to be. That feeling of security in a relationship immediately releases a load of stress. Less stress in a relationship helps you stay in sync and strive together in harmony. 

 

Why I like being single for now

Relationships are great and I know in time I will look forward to being in one again. But right now, there is a lot of enjoyment of being single! It’s a lot less stress for me to be single and here’s all the ways that’s true.

 

I saved a ton of money on gifts this holiday season. Let’s be honest, relationships require financial effort for dinners, trips, gifts, and fun date activities. You can date on a budget but being single now, I’m back in saving mode. The holiday season can sometimes include your significant other’s family if you’ve formed that bond. I was very lucky and got along with my ex’s family very well but I can’t ignore the fact that I saved a ton of money not having to get gifts for my ex and his family this holiday. 

 

Less stress, I just go about my business in my lane. There’s a give and take with this one. Every relationship has its ups and downs. When you’re single, you no longer have to suffer through the downs! You’re mood is steady, content. This also means it doesn’t go gleefully high. No exciting butterflies in the stomach. No thrill when you see their name on your phone screen. But there’s less emotional labor when you’re just looking out for yourself. My heart is safe and resting, no pressure there.

 

I’m not stressed about getting someone to like me. Not stressed about dates. I’m single single. If a guy is talking to me now, I very freely tell him No when I disagree with plans or topics. I don’t need to impress him, I don’t need to compromise. If the connection dies because I say No, then I have no problem with that. 

 

I have no guilt; I can do what I want with my time and not feel bad about neglecting my significant other. I don’t have to divide up my time. I can focus on my projects. I can feel good about the time I put towards friends and family instead of feeling like I’m choosing them over or under my boyfriend. I can watch whatever TV I want, whenever I want, at any volume I want.

 

This is a nice change of pace and freedom after having been in a long term relationship. Like all of you, I make the best out of every situation I’m in. I’ll start stressing about finding a relationship when I’m ready for that.

 

February Playlist – Desire

Valentine’s Day was last week so hopefully these songs were played to set the mood!

 

1.Love Faces – Trey Songz

Released in 2010 in his Passion, Pain, & Pleasure album, Love Faces has passion covered 10 times over. The song sets the scene of a couple getting together that evening, kissing touching and as the title suggests, making love faces. From undressing to messing up the bed sheets, Trey sings about it all!

 

2. Slow Hands – Niall Horan

Niall released this lowkey, soothing jam in 2017. The song starts with a girl wanting to take Niall home and he’s not leaving without her! Her fingertips wander his body and they both want the same thing.

 

3. Must be Doing Something Right – Billy Currington

From Billy Currington’s Doin’ Somthin’ Right album released in 2005. Billy sings about how different nights bring on different moods and it won’t always be the same with your partner. By her smiles and sighs, Billy has gathered he’s on the right path to pleasing her. He’s focused on making his partner happy, who doesn’t want that?

 

4. Close the Door  – Teddy Pendergrass

I am bringing you all way back into classic soul with this 1978 hit! This song is by Teddy Pendergrass from his Life is a Song Worth Singing album. It’s the end of a long day when a couple is finally coming together. They want to cater to each other, show each other how much they love each other, and enjoy the night together. 

 

5. Like a Wrecking Ball – Eric Church

This song is from Eric Church’s The Outsiders album in 2014. Eric sings of finally getting home after being away for a while on tour. He wonders how well the house will hold up when they’re finally together again. There’s a hunger and an uncontrollable need displayed in this song; they’ll be in each other’s arms as soon as he’s through the front door. 

 

6. Want to Want Me – Jason Derulo

This song is titled after Jason Derulo’s 2015 album. The song starts with Jason excited and rushing to get to this girl. He’s willing to put in the work for this girl to want him like he wants her. If a girl is interested, she’ll definitely enjoy the effort and motivation a guy is willing to put in.

 

Talking to Multiple Daters

Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching so I thought it would be a fun time to talk about why it’s okay and common to talk to multiple daters at the same time while using dating apps.

 

When on dating apps you tend to get a batch of matches at the same time. This increases your chances of starting multiple conversations at the same time. Based solely on numbers, it’s nearly impossible to only talk to one person at a time. You could miss out on making a great connection if you wait too long to talk to someone.

 

Since you’re getting batches of matches on different days, you’ll progress in conversations at different rates. You’ll be ready to meet one guy as you start out with hellos with someone else. When meeting someone for the first time, you still don’t know how much you like them and if there’s any in person chemistry. It’s perfectly normal to still keep up conversation with other people so that you’re not starting from complete scratch if the date doesn’t go well.

 

Having connections with more than one person, helps with the let down when a date doesn’t go well or if someone randomly ghosts you. You don’t have to keep all your eggs in one basket. You also don’t want to seem needy or lame, so talking to multiple people helps keep each conversation casual and replies at a normal speed.

 

Talking to multiple people is a completely normal practice in the modern online dating world and you can delete the apps or stop talking to daters at your own speed. Just be honest about what you’re looking for and what your expectations are.

 

Digital Love Language

Some of us may be familiar with the 5 love languages but I thought with this modern dating era, there might be a second layer.

 

Constant Texting

Some people want that constant connection and interaction. They want to talk about their day, about events with friends, and random childhood memories. They want to learn everything about you, every detail and corner of your mind. These couples place high value on long notes detailing how much you love them and being the first thing you think of when you wake up. 

 

Facetime  

You don’t need the constant communication but when you do communicate you want it to have more quality. You want to vent and tell stories to each other with full animation and all the tea. Some couples just feel more connected by being in the same environment together and not necessarily talking. You want to see that smile, hear that laugh, and see their face light up when talking about their day

 

Sending Memes

These individuals may have a hard time expressing how they feel in their own words so they use art and published words to tell someone how they’re feeling. This is an easy, maybe passive way of keeping a connection which can be good for when you have a crush on someone. It also works well in long term relationship as a simple way to show that they’re thinking about you throughout the day. This is a way to make your partner laugh or communicate the type of mood you’re in.

 

Social Media  

They need everyone to know just how much they love you! They’re so proud of all your accomplishments, they’ll have a picture and paragraph for every one. Their social media followers will know of every good deed you’ve done from cooking dinner to trips to the beach. They may also know about every fight or embarrassing act you’ve done as well though. For better or worse, their followers have front row seats to your relationship.

 

Post Break Up Cliches

There so many Cliches for how people act post break up, here are all the ones I fell into. Let me know in the comments which ones you fell into!

 

Posting on social media a lot

I wanted to quickly start moving on with my life and put distance between myself and this chapter that had just ended. Visually it helped to see a lot of recent photos being added to instagram. It helped seeing that I was still living life, that it wasn’t over just because my relationship was.

 

Reconnected with friends  

I didn’t drop my friends when I entered a relationship. There were friends that I had drifted away from for years and it just coincidentally happened that they reached out a month or so after my relationship ended. It was great timing though since I suddenly had a lot more time on my hands. And what can I say, around the holidays there are a lot of reunions lol.

 

Falling back to what’s familiar  

I’ll bring you all back to 2016 with Stubborn (I cringe even linking this because I was so delusional back then, and now) . He’s a friend for many years that I connected to and he was always a sort of comfort while I was struggling through the dating world. I’m not interested in meeting anyone new but Stubborn is familiar and safe. I wanted a friend and distraction from loneliness.

 

Trying to lose that relationship weight  

Let’s be honest, we all put on that relationship 20 -40lb. As soon as you get on dating apps you realize that 80% of the profiles mention going to the gym or some form of activity. So single again, you have to start putting effort into your appear. You’re funny, kind, and smart but if we’re honest, a photo doesn’t spell that out for everyone.

 

Other cliches that I did not fall into:

 

Hop right back in the dating scene

As they love to say ‘the best way to get over someone, is to get under someone new’. Honestly the idea of talking to someone new, let alone going on a date, is one of the last things I want to do. I’m just not interested. 

 

Reinvent myself

I still have the same hobbies as when I was in a relationship. I’m not chopping all my hair off or hanging out with a party hard crowd. Maybe some minor changes but I like who I am and when I’m ready, someone else will too.

 

Cry into a tub of ice cream  

I love ice cream but I don’t need that emotional crutch. I have a lot more free time on my hands but I’m not miserable and sad because of it. I’m focused on my family and school these days and my blog has never been better.

 

Reach back out to my ex

I had thought a lot about my future with my ex before deciding to end things so I knew that when I was done, I was really and truly done. I had given that relationship all my effort and I realized it wasn’t how I wanted to spend my future. I have no left over feelings or need for additional closure so I don’t want to reach back out again. 

 

Dating apps can make you healthier

Dating apps are about showing your best self, or at least what you think daters want to see. There are certain trends that go on in the dating world as far as hobbies and interests are concerned. In order to seem more appealing to potential suitors you could find yourself getting interested in these hobbies. I have to say, a lot of them will make you an all around healthier and happier being. 

 

GYM

The first one is the Gym. Majority of the profiles will mention going to the gym or some other physical activity that keeps them in shape. This could persuade you to also get a membership to keep your body healthy and peak interest from more suitors.

 

TRAVEL

Perhaps the second biggest bio is traveling. People love to talk about their exciting adventures and show off pictures. It’s something cool and fun to talk about. Traveling makes you more cultured and educated by learning different ethnic languages and backgrounds. 

 

FRIENDS

In a profile you definitely want to show off that other people like your company by having pictures of you and your friends at a bar or event. To attract suitors you’ll want to do this as well and hanging out with friends is a great way to relax and relieve stress. Keeping a social life is part of maintaining a healthy balance of your life between work or school. Friends can help you through difficult situations and help you feel less alone.

 

FOODIE

There are plenty of foodies on dating sites that can help you explore cuisine from all over the world. You can also discover healthier food options that you might not have heard about before. Some may even try out a vegan diet.

 

I’m happy I don’t really care about dating apps right now

I knew when I downloaded the apps that I didn’t want to jump right into anything. I also knew it takes a long time to meet someone you actually want to go on more than one date with so I wasn’t too worried about it. The reason I downloaded the apps in the first place right after the break up was because I wasn’t sure I could handle all the sudden down time and lack of daily communication to someone. 

People would ask what I was looking for on the apps and I found it kind of difficult to answer because I really didn’t know. As some conversations progressed to the potential of meeting up I found out that I really wasn’t interested in that so soon after becoming single. I found myself falling into one of the distinct categories of app users; I was on the apps just to talk but never meet up and basically just waste my time so I would be less bored.

Swiping through users was just a game to pass time and I found bumble annoying because it forced me to start a conversation within 24 hours. I tried a few apps just to see what they were about but in the end found myself using tinder the most of it’s easy, basic use. After a few weeks, I let new matches sit for days before even thinking about reaching out and in general, just spending less time on the app at all.

I didn’t really care for the conversations, they were all the same and I didn’t want them leading anywhere. Since I wasn’t looking for any type of partner there wasn’t much reason or interest to swipe through the sea of potential daters either.

I’m content to just make plans with my sisters, work on my blog, watch new tv shows, and focus on my schoolwork. I’ve been debating with myself when I might be interested in dating again and the answer is definitely not anytime soon. It’s a very different attitude than I’ve had for the past 5 years but I’m really happy with it. 

 

The 7 Dating Bios You Hate to See but Know You Will

7 Dating Bios that just tend to rub you the wrong way.

 

The Self Pity Bio:

This is the guy who is projecting his negativity into reality. He’s desperate and he already has a chip on his shoulder that you’ll reject him just like the others.

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The Straight Up Strange Bio:

These bios vary in what makes them strange but there is no doubt of just how bizarre they are. They’re a special breed of daters who will find a perfect strange match and live happily ever after.

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The Over Confident Bio:

Each aspect of this bio is a challenge to a girl. If things are going well then you have to prove to him that you two would be great in a relationship together. Alternatively, you may be of like mind and enter some type of casual/ open relationship or whatever situation suits you both.

The next challenge is proving your worth and why you would be a positive addition to his life. The last tidbit dares you to be fun/adventurous, a risk taker. He thinks he’s the greatest thing since sliced bread and that’s exactly how you know isn’t worth a minute of your time.

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The Guy who Negs:

These bios are always so annoying to me. You don’t even know the girl and you’re already trying to make fun of her. Again, the girl is challenged to show she’s ‘not the same as all the other girls’. Negging is when you’re negative to someone in order to make them feel like they need your approval. Like a backhanded compliment.

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The Guy who’s embarrassed to be here:

This one has kind of always bugged me too. I mean I’m also on this site that you happen to be so embarrassed of so what must you be thinking of me? You kind of get the impression that he cares a lot about what people think.

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The Sexual Bio:

These profiles are usually very obvious, they don’t have any pictures of themselves and their bios are very descriptive in what type of sexual experience/ relationship they’re looking for.

This example I have here though is much more subtle, just randomly throwing in that ‘Dominant’ bit. You might even miss it the first time through and then you get to chatting and within a couple of hours his mind has moved to the bedroom and he’s asking all types of questions about what you like there. In reality though, you just have a regular guy with an inflated ego and who’s been horny for too long. The actual ‘dominant’ ones are those obvious profiles I mentioned above.

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Worst of All, The Predator:

This one will freak any girl out. He knows girls 15 years younger than him aren’t interested but he’s trying to put himself in front of them anyway.

Also, say for example a girl in her late 20s is interested in someone in their 40s, she would set her preferences to 35-45 years and he wouldn’t even be there because he’s too busy preying on girls that are looking for a more balanced relationship with someone their own age!

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20 Funny reasons you can swipe left

Being on dating apps can wear you down quick if you don’t learn to find ways to laugh through the rough swipes. So here’s 20 Funny reasons you can swipe left!

  1. You don’t like their name

  2. its taking more than 10 seconds to figure out which person you should actually be looking for in all those group shots

  3. they wear their baseball caps weirdly high on their head

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    www.modernman.com
  4. If his friends are hotter

  5. They flaunt their car too much

  6. There’s only one picture and it’s not even of a person

  7. All that vape smoke they’re exhaling is not impressing anyone

  8. They think they’re cool (have some humble pie)

  9. They don’t include their face at all

  10. Their bio says something like “good vibes only” or nothing at all

  11. They have a soul patch (or any other terrible facial hair)

  12. Their first picture is not of themselves (this has been a pretty good rule of thumb because normally clicking for the second photo is never worth it)

  13. because you know your mom won’t like their tattoo sleeve Screen Shot 2019-10-14 at 8.44.08 PM

  14. They make fun of what a girl’s bio usually says

  15. They talk about how they hate this app and don’t even know why they’re on it

  16. They’re just visiting town for a week or so 

  17. He has any piercings 

  18. They’re still using high school pictures

  19. They make any sort of demand in their bio (ie. ‘make me laugh’, ‘must be a fellow gymrat’, or something disgustingly dominant)

  20. If they have too many hunting or fishing pictures