August and September Playlists

August: Marriage/ First Dance Wedding

1. Dan and Shay’s Speechless from 2018. I mean come on, the music video is their weddings, it is THE PERFECT first dance song. Listen here

2. Eric Clapton’s Wonderful Tonight from 1977 is a classic that could never go out of style. Listen here

3. Ed Sheehan’s Perfect from 2017 is a song of pure love. I was torn on putting his single Thinking Out Loud instead, you can’t go wrong either way. Listen here

4. Matt Stell’s Prayed for You from 2019 reminds you just how sacred the vow of marriage is. Listen here

5. Casey James’ So Sweet from 2012 is a gorgeous song of finally finding the love of your life. Listen here

September: You should be with me instead

1.Mario’s Let Me Love You from 2004 reminds you that there is always someone who is waiting to treat you as well as you deserve. Listen here

2. DJ Khaled’s You Stay (featuring way too many people) from 2019 is a song about returning to a happier with you where you can focus on your goals with a good guy instead of being mistreated. Listen here

3. Rayne Johnson’s Front Seat from 2020 is a reminder to never be taken for granted but instead truly cherished. Listen here

4. Jordan Davis’ Singles You Up from 2018 is just a guy waiting for his chance to show you how great you could be together. Listen here

5. Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow’s Picture from 2002 will always stand the test of time in my book. The longing and heartache portrayed in that song is undeniable. Listen here

Emotional Cheating

I think a lot of people have different definitions of cheating. Some draw the line at provocative dancing while others only think a full fledged affair constitutes cheating. Some people think different types of cheating are worse than others like if it only happened once or if it was only when drunk and under the influence.

The offense seems to be worse when there’s more emotion involved. When it was with a clear mind and happened multiple times with the same person. So why is it that emotional cheating seems to get overlooked sometimes?

There’s this delusional belief that if you never meet up in person then you never cheat. Or if it’s not nudes, if it’s not sexual in nature, then it’s not cheating. These things can start innocent enough, just someone in need of a support system. Maybe things are hard with your significant other right now and you just want someone to talk to.

The problem occurs when you stop communicating with your SO. Instead you’re telling all personal issues to this new confidante. You’re no longer only talking to them when you need advice, you’re talking to them when you’re happy, bored, and alone. There’s now a daily connection and although you don’t think you’ve done anything wrong, there’s something stopping you from telling your SO about it.

Would it bother you if your SO didn’t tell you things anymore? Would it bother you if you didn’t know who your SO’s emotional support system was? A support system is a type of relationship if you have to keep it on the down low.

How to get over someone

Getting over someone is tough. There’s no right way to do it but we tend to beat ourselves up over it anyway. Here are some ideas that could help you move on after heartbreak. And we all know getting over someone you never actually dated is the hardest so I hope this helps there!

 

1. Stop talking to them and stop stalking their socials, separate them out of your life. You need to remember what life is like without them and realize you have the strength to carry on.

 

2. Write a list of all the reasons it didn’t work out or why they’re not right for you – read it to yourself whenever you forget. Tell your friends about everything that went wrong so they can keep your gentle heart safe.

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3. Delete cute texts and pictures. I’m willing to let you keep any texts when you guys were fighting or he was showing his true colors. You might need to be brought back down to reality if you’ve been daydreaming about the good old days for too long. You’ll need all the help you can get when your heart feels weak.

 

4. The mind is an amazing creature but she will create these fantasies and forget the pain. You have to stay busy and keep your mind off of whoever you’re trying to get over.

 

5. Stay busy and stay social. You still have friends that can fill in your ex’s spot on any adventure! I know you may feel lonely and like a huge chuck of your life is suddenly missing but Life is still awesome and fun on your own. It may take a few tries to remember that.

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6.  Cry about it if you need to. Avoiding and pushing your emotions down will just delay the real healing. Even if it was only an almost relationship, your feelings are real and validate.

 

7. Throw out anything they gave you or that reminds you of them. You don’t really need material possessions and it helps make the break up more real for you.

 

8. Remember your goals and desires before you knew them. Focus energy back on yourself. Until someone can appreciate your energy, focus it all on you.

 

June Playlist – Break Up

 

1.Make You Miss Me (2014)

Sam Hunt immediately starts explaining this wishy-washy personality of a girl he’s dating or talking to. She always wants the newest things and is quick to ditch when the next big thing rolls around. Sam doesn’t deny the break up but he is convinced she caught feelings and will miss him. She won’t be able to move on to the next thing because she’s still hoping he’ll text her late at night. It seems like the roles are finally going to reverse and she’ll experience the heartbreak she’s always dishing out. Every little tiny thing is going to be a reminder of the love she lost.  

 

2. If I Loved You (2012)

Delta Rae is a heartbreaker in this song. She wishes she loved this man the way she should and the way he deserves but those deep feelings just aren’t there. It could be such a great love and on the surface it probably is, but in her heart she truly knows it’s not enough. They are so close to happily ever after and it just breaks your heart that this relationship can’t last forever.

 

3. Missed Calls (2011)

The Late Mac Miller sings of a relationship in turmoil and they’re having so many problems that he doesn’t feel like they’re on the same page anymore. The catchy chorus is where the title comes from as Mac raps about the voicemails his girlfriend is leaving, saying she thinks she has to walk away from this deteriorating relationship. It seems like the relationship has changed over the years or perhaps they have changed as individuals since Mac got famous. They both wish to go back to how they were but they know that isn’t really possible anymore. 

 

4. Burn (2004)

Usher belts out this song as this relationship burns out. He seems the end coming and it will only hurt later on to drag this relationship out any longer. The break up seems to be one sided and it really pulls at the heartstrings when you know someone is trying to hold on when the other is pulling away. The song takes a turn as Usher regrets the break up! He wishes for her back and misses the connection they had, but the relationship has already burned down.

 

5. Somebody that I Used to Know (2012)

Gotye had just all belting this out that summer! I had never been in a relationship at the time but boy did I feel that break up! Although, it may be a mutual break up it still hurts when you’re completely ignored and feel the person trying to erase the relationship. In a very clever use of the title, Gotye hints to a possible cheating scenario in the final verse. 

How are you still single?

When you’re out in the dating world, a time or two you’ll probably hear this:

How do you not have a boyfriend already?

(normally continued with ‘you’re so great’)

I’m not sure if it’s my history with self esteem or if everyone feels this way, but this question definitely gives me pause. I think this phrase could be termed as a backhanded compliment since it comes off as a compliment but it’s challenging you as well. 

 

It’s pretty confirmed that they think you’re great. They’re vibing with you and playing with the thought of you as a girlfriend. They’re thinking “I totally want to date this girl. Wait how is she not wifed up already? Is something wrong with her that everyone else sees but I don’t?”. Basically, they want to know if you’re single because all the guys you dated were crazy or because they all ran away from your crazy. They’re worried you might be too good to be true and they just haven’t found your glaring flaw yet.

 

Your answer could give them very important information:

You could say you recently became single and they may realize you’re not over your ex or just not ready to get back in the dating game yet. 

 

You could tell them that you just haven’t found the right one yet, which could mean you’re really picky and high maintenance. Or it could just mean that your small town doesn’t have a ton of options! Or you’re a girl with standards who isn’t going to settle!

 

You could tell them that you just haven’t had the time. Is it because you’re focused on your career, you’re very independent, or you’re actually too scared to put yourself out there and that’s your best excuse?

 

 

They’re also testing you, they’re putting you up against a wall a bit. You now have to prove yourself to them that there’s nothing wrong with you. They’re poking you to see if any flaws fall out. It’s a compliment that requires an explanation as a response. People want answers, they want to know they’re not being fooled. It’s not the innocent compliment it comes off as.

 

March Playlist – Newly Single

If you’re Newly Single, I’m here for you girl!! It’s time to hit the bar and break some hearts!! Let’s jam out!!! (click on the years to be taken to the music videos!)

 

1.Miss Me More (2017)

Kelsea Ballerini sings about the changes she made to make her boyfriend happy in their relationship. She’s facing the fears and worries she had about being single again. She’s remembering dreams and happy memories of the person she used to be. She realizes she’s happier on her own and the new freedom she has.

 

2.Buy my own Drinks (2019)  

Runaway June This songs starts out with Runaway June being recently single and going out to the bar by herself. Post break up, its good to stay busy and not hide yourself away in your room. This song is about finding your independence again and not needing a man for any of the things you might find them doing during a night out. In the end, she knows she doesn’t need anyone else, she can take care of herself. 

 

3.Do Better (2018)  

Lil Donald This song is all about finally not being sad anymore about a break up. You’re feeling better, you’re looking better and you’re remembering that you deserve better than your past relationship. You realize that he’s not treating you right and you deserve someone loyal and faithful. You deserve a real man who will show you how much he appreciates you.

 

4.Feeling Good as Hell (2016)  

Lizzo is here to pick you back up and dry your tears. She’s reminding you that you’re looking good and should be feeling even better. This relationship has been getting you down and it’s time to leave that behind so you can go back to being the Boss of your life. He’s no longer draining your energy, you can focus on yourself and achieve all your goals. 

 

5.Don’t start now (2019)  

Dua Lipa is letting us know how quickly she recovered from a break up. It seems like maybe he was the one to initiate the break up and thought she might be brokenhearted for longer. But she’s already putting herself out there and meeting new people and if he doesn’t want to see her out here living life then he should stay home. I really enjoy this little jab she gets in during the chorus ‘walk away, you know how’. She’s already moved on and he doesn’t need to concern himself with where she is now.

 

January Playlist – Cheating

We have the first playlist of the 2020 series! I’m hitting the ground running here because January we’re talking about Cheating! (youtube links of the songs included!)

 

1.Thru your phone – Cardi b

Released in 2018 in Cardi B’s debut album Invasion to Privacy. This is a song for when you just found the proof of the lies and cheating you’d been suspicious of. The anger you feel for your partner taking you for granted and not appreciating the love and relationship you two have. The chorus then mixes in that soft pain of your heart breaking realizing your relationship is forever changed. This song takes place in the night when your partner is still asleep and you’re all alone in this heartache and betrayal.

 

2. Say My Name – Destiny’s Child

This song is featured on Destiny’s Child’s second album The Writings on the Wall released in 1999. This song was a total bop while I was growing up. It focuses on the first time you’re noticing your partner is acting different. They’re not being as open and affectionate as they normally are and you’re beginning to wonder if it’s because they’re with someone else. You don’t like this shady behavior and you want them to be honest.

 

3. The Thunder Rolls – Garth Brooks 

Released in 1991 on Garth’s No Fences album, this song parallels a storm in town with the storm brewing in the relationship. She hopes it’s the storm in town that is keeping him out so late but when he does return home, it’s the storm in her heart that tells her he was out with someone else.

 

4. I’m Not the Only One – Sam Smith

Released 2014, In the Lonely Hour album, Sam Smith really knows how to make your heart want to break down and cry. I’m glad these lyrics mention the crazy aspect. When you start to suspect betrayal, you analyze all the conversations and actions differently. In order to try to throw you off their trail, a cheating partner will call you crazy and make you feel guilty. 

 

5. Wasn’t Me – Shaggy

From the 2000 Hot Shot album, this song was a hit with it’s reggae flair. This is from the perspective of the cheater getting caught in the act. Shaggy includes many details of the character’s cheating and the song includes a friend’s advice to deny it all! In the end, he wants to apologize to his girl and thinks his friend is a player. But once a cheater always a cheater?

 

6. Irreplaceable- Beyonce

I know Beyonce was also in Destiny’s Child, already featured on this list, but this single remained at the top of the US Billboard’s Hot 100 chart for 10 weeks! The song starts as a guy is getting kicked out of the house and packing up all his things, which are to the left in the closet. Through the song we gather that a guy took his partner for granted, stepped out on her, and never thought she could find someone like him again. She’s savage though, as her next guy will be there in a minute.   

 

7. I Hope – Gabby Barrett

American Idol alumni, Gabby releases this hit in July 2019. The song starts with off wishing a couple well on finding true love. But this song finishes off our Cheating Playlist so we know that can’t be the end of the story! I love songs with a great twist and this one will have the happily married belting out these lyrics like they know this heartbreak first- hand. 

 

MY GHOSTWRITER

You don’t like what I’m writing now.

I can understand you 

not wanting to hear these things

but you must understand 

you’re the one putting me through this.

If you don’t like yourself in this light

then maybe you should step up.

Walk a straighter path 

and you won’t find yourself slipping

on uneven ground.