Most Memorable Dates in my Dating Career

I’ve been on a lot of first dates and honestly after a while they tend to all blend together. But there are some that stand out even 4-5 years later! I don’t really know why some of these stick out to me, tell me some of your best/worst dates in the comments!

 

1.The Guy who Lied:

I was once on a date with a guy, we’d gone out a few times before. We went rock climbing and he asked me to grab his phone for pictures. As I got it, there was a message from a girl on his screen. I thought nothing of it, it could have been just a friend, we’d only been out a few times so it’s not like we were exclusive, and I never saw what the message said. He freaked out over it though, assured me it was nothing at the time. Assured me again later that night and even had his friend text me to help him cover his tracks. That’s what I thought was suspicious.

His desperate attempts did the exact opposite of what he had hoped. But again, we weren’t exclusive, I didn’t think it was a big deal. Later on he asked for us to be exclusive and then cheated but that’s another story.

 

2. The Guy I was Rude to:

I went to dinner with this guy and he was nice but I knew we didn’t have a future. The restaurant happened to be very close to my house and it was decided we’d walk my dog around the neighborhood before the night ended. (Sidenote: he came inside and met my dad which was awkward and then he let my dog escape which was also a hassle lol)

So we were walking my dog and I decided to get to the bottom of his dating hang ups so I could help him with dating other girls. We mostly talked about his exes and he felt weird about it because that’s not what you do when you’re trying to date someone new. I felt terrible as I realized we weren’t on the same page as I had thought the date ended when we left the restaurant. I was giving him pointers/criticism and digging into his past when he was just a nice guy trying to find a partner. I never got the opportunity to truly apologize and I thought about it for years.

 

3. The Date I Didn’t Want to Go on:

I’ve talked about this guy before but we’ll do it again here. I knew from texting him that we would not be a match and there was no reason for us to meet. I had been on a lot of dates and I was tired of it. He was insulted and called me judgmental and I was somewhat cornered into a date. We went on the date and I was dead on about him; it was not a match. It probably seems like I already had my mind made up, which might be the case but honestly, it’s because I made the right decision in the first place!

 

4. The Creepy Guy:

I don’t know how I ended up going to get coffee with this guy because after the first few minutes I knew he was terribly creepy and I could not wait to get away from him. Unfortunately, nearly every girl on a dating app will eventually have her turn being sketched out by a guy. I don’t even remember what we talked about but I knew in the car after I was so creeped out and anxious from it. I still think about it when I drive by that Starbucks even though so many of the memories are hazy now.

 

5. The Guy who Wanted Me to be his Brain:

I had been on a lot of first dates when I finally found a guy I liked enough to go on a second! I was really into him until we started watching a movie. He constantly asked questions about what words meant and what was going on with the plot. First off, you can use context clues for defining words and secondly, I’m watching the movie for the first time like you are, I don’t know what the plot is going to be! The endless questions were a huge turn off and used up all my patience. I needed someone who could keep up and I was out the door with the end of the movie.

 

Why dinner and a movie is a terrible first date

Dinner and a movie has been the classic first date idea since the beginning of time. Honestly, I just don’t understand why.

 

For starters, dinner and a movie immediately forces you into at least a 4 hour date. There’s the pressure of keeping the date interesting and there’s the fear of having to be ‘on’ for such a long period of time. 

 

During dinner you can probably figure out if you like this guy enough to want to see him a second time or not. If you don’t like him then the last thing you want to do is be stuck closely next to him for the next 2.5 hours as he possibly tries to make moves on you. You might not want to spend the money on a movie or feel bad making him spend money on a somewhat pointless date together. 

 

If you do like him then you either want to continue on with this great conversation or you probably want to do more than just brush arms in a crowded, darkly lit room. I never understood the movie part of this classic first date. You’re not getting to know each other during a movie. The only thing you may learn is if they chew popcorn loudly and if they talk and ask questions during movies. These are pet peeves but highly unlikely that these could ever be deal breakers. 

 

There’s so much awkwardness and uncertainty with going to a movie on the first date. Who’s paying? Where should you guys sit? Should you talk during the previews? Where should you put your arm? Will she feel weird if I try to put my arm around her? Did he just brush his leg with my leg on purpose or on accident? I’m anxious just writing this now! 

 

Watching a movie is also a boring date in my opinion. I’d much rather go bowling or play mini golf. It keeps me stimulated, it helps provides material for conversation, and it also allows you to not have to talk the entire time like you do at a dinner. You’ve also disconnected from each other during the movie with the lack of conversation. The date is normally over after the movie and you leave just kind of shrugging your shoulders about the whole night since it ended so disconnected. 

 

Instead, when you do something fun, they’ll associate that feel -good feeling with you. They’ll think of the smiles and laughs they had while doing that activity, and guess what? You were there with them and they’ll smile and think of you too! That’s exactly what you want out of a first date.

 

Turning a Summer Fling into the Real Deal

The warm weather is starting to cool off but you want your summer fling to keep heating up, here’s how to stroke the flame.

 

Make plans for the fall

Act like the weather isn’t changing and keep making plans as you have been. Instead of heading to the beach or a hot summer night concert you can go apple picking, explore a corn maze, and carve some pumpkins. School might be starting up again and schedules will get busier so it’s important to continue to make time for each other and experience fun things together. Even if you’re going to schools in different states you can still plan dates in advance. Have him come up to visit in September and plan a date to see him in October.

 

Test out the waters

Try to learn what their thoughts are about a real relationship. Is it on their mind or are they anti-commitment? Approach the topic gently and in a non threatening way so they will open up and you can get an honest answer.

 

Start talking about the future together

Along with making fall date plans, you can talk about more serious things that would move the relationship forward. Has he met your friends and family? Have you talked about being exclusive? Talk about holiday plans to have them think into the future without putting on too much pressure.

 

Be Honest

After testing out the waters, you probably have a good idea of where their head is at. Now it’s time to be honest with how you’re feeling and where you’re hoping this relationship will head. You might both want the same thing but were worried about ruining the bond you have now. It’s important to be honest and direct so that there is no room left for miscommunication. This will help you know if it’s time to really end things or if the relationship can become official.

 

How to make sure you get a second date

Have you been on 50 first dates but can’t seem to get to the second? Figure out what you’ve been doing wrong.

 

Don’t rush the first date

I’ve seen it all too many times on dating apps, guys rushing to meet up that night or maybe two nights later. You barely even know me! And i definitely don’t know you! Whatever day of the week you start talking don’t make plans for that weekend, wait for the following one. Plus its good to find out how they like to spend their weekends and how engaged they stay with you while they’re not bored at work.

 

Weekday Date

Speaking of weekend dates, they’re probably harder to score since weekends are considered more valuable to workers. You only really have two nights to hang out with friends or visit that cool new spot everyone is talking about. You’d be really bummed to waste a night on a guy that’s a total dud. Your date will be more willing to accept your date proposal if its on a weekday. Wednesday or Thursday would be most ideal since they’ll feel a weight lifted on humpday and how the weekend is another step closer. The less stressed they are, the better it is for you.

 

Stand Out

In the modern dating world you can’t settle for a simple dinner and a movie anymore. There are too many other options for your date to choose besides you so you need to make an impression and quick! There’s no need to go all out or get too fancy. But you want to try to get creative and cater the date to something you know they like. This shows that you’re paying attention and are able to put people before yourself by not just picking something you want to do.

 

Stop Talking about Yourself

Everyone loves to talk about themselves. Most conversations are people sharing their side of a similar experience. You’re so focused on waiting to tell them your story that you’re not even really LISTENING. Stop talking about you and ask more about them. The better you listen and remember the more impressed they’ll be. You’ll also gain a better understanding of who they are and can decide if they are a good fit for you.

 

Don’t Go too Fast

As I’ve mentioned before you can go at whatever speed (first kiss link) is working for you and your date. But if you’re looking for a long term relationship, the general rule of thumb is to not move too fast. If you’re constantly putting your hand on his thigh or sticking your tongue down her throat then they might think you’re just looking for short term. Being gentle and respectful is a good way to show you’re ready to start a relationship

 

Plan the Second Date

It’s usually a good idea to mention the second date while on the first. You may be talking about a shared activity you both enjoy and that would be the perfect time to mention “awesome, that’s what we can do next time”. It’s best to mention a second date near the end of the first though because by then you will have both grown more comfortable with each other and can gauge if the chemistry and compatibility is there.

 

Bust out Romantic Gestures for your Significant Other

If you’re in a long term relationship, you’ve become very comfortable with your partner and the things you did in the beginning of the relationship to win them over might have been forgotten. Here are some easy romantic gestures you can start bringing into the relationship again to show your love

 

It’s the little things  

  • flowers just because
  • a little love note slipped into their work bag or coat pocket
  • making them coffee some mornings

 

Physical  

  • cuddle on the couch,
  • massages after a long work day
  • candles in the bedroom on occasion

 

Surprises

  • little gift because i was thinking of you or i know they’re your favorite treat.
  • Nice planned for the two of you dinner
  • little unplanned adventure like a stroll in the park or sitting on the docks as the boats pass by

 

Help out

  • pack a lunch for them
  • do the dishes if they’re having a busy week
  • Wash their car for them

 

Show them off a little

  • tell family and friends about their accomplishments
  • hold his hand or put her arm around her
  • a quick peck across the dinner table

 

Look out for them  

  • Walk her to her car at night
  • text that you got home safe
  • make sure they have an umbrella for the weather

 

Alone time

  • Plan a little weekend getaway
  • Find a quiet moment during a family party
  • Cook for them at home instead of a crowded restaurant

 

Advice Column June

Dear DD,

I’ve met this really great girl and we’ve gone on a handful of dates. My friends have been asking about her now and I can’t decide if it’s too soon to have her meet them? Is there a right time for when to bring the person you’ve been seeing to meet your friends?

-from friend zone

Congrats on the new lucky lady!

Your friends are able to give you an unbiased opinion about your potential significant other since the romantic feelings aren’t skewing their perspective. Friends know you well and know you deserve to be treated well. And it’s always great to have validation of your judgment in life partners by your friends support of the relationship. But when is the right time to introduce a potential partner to your friend group?

Not too Soon

It was important to me when meeting someone to establish a bond between us and make sure we are strong in our feelings for each other before he would meet any friends or family. I didn’t want to constantly bring a parade of new guys around and have my friends start thinking it was just another flavor of the week that would burn out in no time. For me it was serious and the next step in our relationship before becoming official. Having the support of those close to me was important. Since you’re wondering if it’s too early for them to meet, I’ll assume you don’t bring just any girl around your circle of friends.

Not too Late

The upside in letting your friends meet the person you’ve been seeing early on is that they can help you steer clear before it’s too late and you become too attached. You might be blinded by infatuation but your friends could pull you out of a disastrous relationship before you’ve invested too much time and effort. Has she mentioned wanting to meet your friends soon? If so, waiting much longer could start to make her feel unsure about your feelings for her. She may wonder if you’re keeping her a secret or that she’s the only one with strong feelings in this relationship.

Mixed Signals  

As I mentioned, meeting friends and family means a lot to me because it shows me they want to bring me into their world and have me form bonds with those close to them. If you’re planning on keeping the relationship casual it might be confusing to both your partner and friends to have them hanging out together regularly. For me personally, it would have me believing things were heading in a more serious direction and moving onto a different page then they are. You also might want to think about the fact that one of your friends might be start to like her and continue to bring her around even after your casual thing is over.

New Experience

It’s a good experience to see your potential SO in a social setting to see if they act different than when just alone with you. You can see if they’re making the effort to get to know your friends, if they’re outgoing or a sloppy drunk. Your friends can also see the two of you interact together and see if you pair up well as a team.

There are many benefits to having your friends and love interest meet. Before doing so you need to decide what kind of future you think this relationship has, think about if you want to intertwine the two parts of your life, and also talk to her about how she would feel about meeting your friends. Once you know the answer to these three questions you’ll know what to do!

April Advice Column- First Date Ideas

A popular one is obviously drinks/ coffee since its less of a money and time commitment. I’m not a fan of them but for most it’s a good way to test out the waters without much risk.

I came to a point where I was going on so many dates that I started hating meal dates. Again it’s super common, everyone’s gotta eat right? They bored me and there wasn’t much room to hide if you didn’t like your date.

I prefer activities such as mini golf and bowling where awkward silences are acceptable and  since you can usually find moments to yourself. In my opinion bowling is better in a group setting so you might hold off on that until you’re ready to have your friends test out your potential significant other.

The key is to find something both of you enjoy doing. Are you active, maybe a short hike would be fun and adventurous? Do you enjoy trying new beers, find a local brewery or winery and out a new spin on the just drinks date. If you’re more of a homebody the immediate idea might be going to see a movie but a more original idea would be going to a planetarium! They’ll do short films and lectures about the galaxy which is cool and star gazing is pretty romantic. You’ll be comfortable relaxing in the dark theater plus some even do lazer light concert shows which is another unique experience. These are shorter than regular movies so they aren’t as much of a time commitment and hopefully won’t cut into conversation time as much.

The early dating stages are when you try your hardest to impress someone so find out things they like and run with it! I really like dogs and a twist to the usual meal date was being taken to a restaurant that was covered in dog pictures! It was unique, playful, and showed that he listened and wanted to impress me. My boyfriend really likes boats so our first couple of dates we would check out all the local docks, walking around to read all the boat names and pick out our favorites. You don’t have to impress a first date with how expensive something is, just how thoughtful you can be.

Spring Date Ideas

With Spring here it’s time for some fun dates with your significant other! Here are some ways you can fall in love with that warm sun again.

  1. Decorating Easter eggs – You can only do this once a year so you might as well live a little! No need for talent, just have fun and the pretty colors will do their magic!
  2. Nature Walk in local hiking trail –  You’ve been cooped up inside for so long it’s time to stretch those legs! See what flowers are blooming with a nature walk. Bonus – bring your dog!
  3. Winery/ Brewery visit – most will have some outdoor space but every spring day won’t be sunny and warm so at least here the inside is always available too. Bring some friends for a fun time.
  4. Mini Golf – the snow has finally melted and you can see the green again. Brush up on your golf skills and visit your local course.
  5. Escape room – The trend has been going strong the past 5 years with new puzzles and rooms being created. You may have escaped one room but you haven’t escaped them all!
  6. Fairs/Festivals- flea markets and local street festivals are starting up come springtime and you can make a day out of it.
  7. Axe throwing – the newest trend is going to axe throwing place! Its new, adventurous and a great group date. You get a quick demo, throw enough to pay your money’s worth, and there’s a bar too!
  8. Picnic at a park – the sun is finally shining and the winter coats have finally been put in storage! You want to soak up the fresh air as much as possible after this winter’s hibernation so visit a nice park on a warm day and enjoy yourselves.
  9. Amusement park – The parks really get crowded the in summer so now is your chance to enjoy some rides without the hour long lines.
  10. Aquarium/Zoo trips- depending on the weather you can stay warm at the aquarium on a chilly day or enjoy the sun while seeing wildlife at the zoo.
  11. Museum/ Planetarium – get transported to another era in time or another galaxy by visiting an interesting museum.
  12. Paint and Wine night – They’ve been popular for a few years now but there’s always another canvas to paint and bottle to be drank! It’s painting made easy, limited artistic talent required.  

 

Love on a Budget

I think people often mistake expensive dates for romance. You don’t have to a fancy restaurant every weekend, in fact idea number one is

Cook In instead of dining out. Yes usually grocery shopping is more expensive than just one evening dining out but the food you get can be used for multiple meals so at the end of the day you’re definitely saving money. Cooking together is a great bonding experience too, you learn how particular your partner is about materials, measurements, and sanitation as well as learning what frustrates or stresses them out. Creating a meal together allows you to feel like a united team accomplishing a goal together and the shared memory is a great building block in a relationship.

It’s much easier to find free things to do over the summer such as hiking, parks, and finding some water to splash around in. However low key or intense you want your adventure to be, you can find a good fit! Back in high school when everyone was just learning how to drive, I loved late night adventures just driving around, singing along to the radio, and feeling the wind on your skin. You can make amazing memories out of nothing as long as you’re with people you love and the good vibes flow.

Look into events going on in your neighborhood since the tickets are usually cheap or free! There might be a cover band at a brewery, the local theater putting on a play, or a food expo at the museum across town.You can have fun with your friends too by inviting them over for game night or splitting the cost of a weekend getaway trip.

You don’t have to always miss out on dining out or an expensive experience, you can look for deals on Groupon and other coupon sites to make it more affordable. Restaurant week is the perfect time to dine at the fancy places on the water that you would normally never go to (or be able to afford).

What to Get Your Significant Other for the Holidays?

Some Significant others are hard to shop for whether they’re selfless, minimalist, or some other reason. The best way to get around this is to buy them some type of experience. By that, I mean an event or date you two can do together. This way you’ve shown your love by paying for something and you know they’ll enjoy it because they always enjoy spending time with you.

Event ideas: sporting tickets, plays, cooking classes, paint night, and concerts.

Maybe you’re not really the romantic type and you view the holidays as the one time need to really show your SO how much you truly love them. Attention to detail is important here, your SO wants to know you cherish every memory together just like they do. Think back to when you first meet, the date, the place, any inside jokes or little details you can recall.

Romantic route: engraved necklace with anniversary date or other significance, framed photo of the two of you

I talk about online dating quite a lot, there’s a good chance if you’re a new couple then you met through a dating app. This is a tech savvy generation and it would be no surprise if your SO wants one of the new tech product or accessories coming out.

Tech products: iPad, camera, or speakers (add a personal touch by customizing a case for your significant other)

Something I love is listening to my Boyfriend talk about his passions. The spark in his eye and the child like excitement when he really starts getting into such a topic is so fun for me. The joy radiates off him and even I start to get excited, like a puppy when family walks in the door. Buying something related to your SO’s passion or hobby will give them at that excitement and they will cherish the fact that you pay attention to the things they care about.

Something for their hobby: sporting equipment, seasons of their favorite tv show, art supplies, signed collectables item, or cook book

The last suggestion is not that original but it’s hard to go wrong here. With the cold months approaching they might be lacking some proper attire. It’s practical, functional, and stylish to get winter clothes for your SO. Plus you can pair it with a winter date idea like ice skating or a ski trip. It’s a cute way to introduce the date idea and give them something tangible to open besides tickets to an event.

Apparel for a cute winter date: hats, scarves, gloves, and shoes/boots/slippers