Stuck on You

Maybe one day I’ll finally get good at getting over you

But until then I’ll have another drink while I listen to another song that reminds me of you

I’ll drive by your house again and read through old phone conversations

Oh cause one day you wont cross my mind

But until then I’m still at this bar, stuck on you

I imagine hearing your name and not giving it a second thought

There will be no floods of memories that have to be fought

No ache in my heart nor tears in my eyes

You’ll be gone and I’ll have moved on

But until then I’m still at this bar, stuck on you.

October and November Playlists

October: Fighting

Demi Lovato’s Cry Baby from 2017 is a song of a girl who is hard to break but her heart breaks eventually. Listen here 

NeYo’s Mad from 2008 is a heated argument that would hopefully be resolved before going to bed. Listen here

Alicia Keys‘ Fallin from 2001 is a song of torment from loving someone to not knowing if you can stay when they cause you pain. Listen here

Rihanna’s Love on the Brain from 2016 is a song of fighting for love and suffering through the pain in order to be with someone. Listen here

November: Jealousy

Beyonce’s Jealous from 2013 is her pain caused by her man’s cheating and going out for a night of revenge. Listen here

Little Big Town’s Girl Crush from 2014 is a clever song of crushing on a girl because she has the man and wanting to be her; replace her. Listen here

Patsy Cline’s She’s Got You from 1962 is a heartbreaker of a song where she has all the material possessions of a lost relationship while he’s found a new relationship. I love Patsy Cline, check out the rest of her work! Listen here

Nelly’s Over and Over featuring Tim McGraw from 2004 replays the ending of a relationship and the jealousy of not having her anymore. Listen here

Wedding Day

Your snoring lulls me to sleep after a hard day

cradling me sweetly in the night.

And your immovable love gives me strength 

like a constant steady flow of a river to my heart.

 

Your laughter breaths life back into me, babe

Fills my lungs so full, I think my feet might leave the ground.

Your tender love wraps around me like armor.

There’s nothing I can’t do with you next to me.

 

You’re such an important part of me

Your love is in the air I breath.

It radiates off the skin I touch.

I feel your love in every kiss

Every touch

Every word.

And I hear it today in, “I do”.

 

-August 22, 2020

How can I trust myself to pick the right guy?

Over the past 5 years, I’ve been on tons of first dates. More than any person would ever want to, I’m sure. I kept going on first dates though because I was ‘picky’. I needed a palpable connection and a list of criteria to be met. It was meaningless first date after first date when I finally met my long term boyfriend.

Finally, someone I just connected with. The beginning was easy, I felt alive, and he was good to me. I finally picked the right one! Even his mom was excited about our future!

But time passed and he stopped treating me right and eventually he became my ex. I should have left a lot earlier than I did and now it’s hard to trust myself. 

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I’m really picky and I still didn’t pick the right guy. How can I trust myself now?

 

I’m wondering if I should go about picking partners differently now since clearly, I’ve been getting it wrong all these years. I don’t think I’m too picky honestly, but however I am picking must not be working. Do I need to stop putting so much weight on that feeling of connection?

Maybe with the information I knew at the time, I was picking right? And eventually as time goes on, someone who was right for you can stop being right for your future.

We all know love has a way of blinding us so maybe I need friends and family to pick the right match for me. People who know and love me and have my best interests at heart. But we probably all know someone we would have picked differently for and who’s to say that they made the wrong choice?

Maybe with the new lessons I learned from my dating experience, I will pick the right one next time and I can trust myself. I can trust myself by being self aware. By knowing I’m a hopeless romantic and where my weak spots are. By listening to red flags when I first see them and by understanding the type of men I gravitate towards.

 

The Last Time I Saw You

You say you’ll have to remember 

what I like for next time.

But there never was a next time.

It was a last time

And I wish I held on a little bit longer

I wish I could still remember 

the feel of your skin

and the sound of your voice. 

And I wish I didn’t have to remember at all. 

 

Favorites Recap

Quarterly favorites review, June Issue!

 

Favorite show: I’ve been watching The Guardian on Hulu which originally ran from 2001 to 2004. It’s about a corporate lawyer that ends up having to perform community serve at a children’s legal services office. I’m just finishing season 1 now and it’s been good!  

 

Favorite tweet: My Twitter page

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Favorite blog post: Where I Ache is officially released!!! Get your copy here!!

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Favorite phase /word to say: “what is happening “ Brooklyn 99, love this show!

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Favorite thing you did: My sister’s wedding!!!!

 

Favorite artist: I’ve been loving Morgan Wallen’s Whiskey Glasses

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Favorite Poem: My Best Friend here, another oldie but goodie.