Maybe one day I’ll finally get good at getting over you
But until then I’ll have another drink while I listen to another song that reminds me of you
I’ll drive by your house again and read through old phone conversations
Oh cause one day you wont cross my mind
But until then I’m still at this bar, stuck on you
I imagine hearing your name and not giving it a second thought
There will be no floods of memories that have to be fought
No ache in my heart nor tears in my eyes
You’ll be gone and I’ll have moved on
But until then I’m still at this bar, stuck on you.
Demi Lovato’s Cry Baby from 2017 is a song of a girl who is hard to break but her heart breaks eventually. Listen here
NeYo’s Mad from 2008 is a heated argument that would hopefully be resolved before going to bed. Listen here
Alicia Keys‘ Fallin from 2001 is a song of torment from loving someone to not knowing if you can stay when they cause you pain. Listen here
Rihanna’s Love on the Brain from 2016 is a song of fighting for love and suffering through the pain in order to be with someone. Listen here
Beyonce’s Jealous from 2013 is her pain caused by her man’s cheating and going out for a night of revenge. Listen here
Little Big Town’s Girl Crush from 2014 is a clever song of crushing on a girl because she has the man and wanting to be her; replace her. Listen here
Patsy Cline’s She’s Got You from 1962 is a heartbreaker of a song where she has all the material possessions of a lost relationship while he’s found a new relationship. I love Patsy Cline, check out the rest of her work! Listen here
Nelly’s Over and Over featuring Tim McGraw from 2004 replays the ending of a relationship and the jealousy of not having her anymore. Listen here
Your snoring lulls me to sleep after a hard day
cradling me sweetly in the night.
And your immovable love gives me strength
like a constant steady flow of a river to my heart.
Your laughter breaths life back into me, babe
Fills my lungs so full, I think my feet might leave the ground.
Your tender love wraps around me like armor.
There’s nothing I can’t do with you next to me.
You’re such an important part of me
Your love is in the air I breath.
It radiates off the skin I touch.
I feel your love in every kiss
And I hear it today in, “I do”.
-August 22, 2020
Over the past 5 years, I’ve been on tons of first dates. More than any person would ever want to, I’m sure. I kept going on first dates though because I was ‘picky’. I needed a palpable connection and a list of criteria to be met. It was meaningless first date after first date when I finally met my long term boyfriend.
Finally, someone I just connected with. The beginning was easy, I felt alive, and he was good to me. I finally picked the right one! Even his mom was excited about our future!
But time passed and he stopped treating me right and eventually he became my ex. I should have left a lot earlier than I did and now it’s hard to trust myself.
I’m really picky and I still didn’t pick the right guy. How can I trust myself now?
I’m wondering if I should go about picking partners differently now since clearly, I’ve been getting it wrong all these years. I don’t think I’m too picky honestly, but however I am picking must not be working. Do I need to stop putting so much weight on that feeling of connection?
Maybe with the information I knew at the time, I was picking right? And eventually as time goes on, someone who was right for you can stop being right for your future.
We all know love has a way of blinding us so maybe I need friends and family to pick the right match for me. People who know and love me and have my best interests at heart. But we probably all know someone we would have picked differently for and who’s to say that they made the wrong choice?
Maybe with the new lessons I learned from my dating experience, I will pick the right one next time and I can trust myself. I can trust myself by being self aware. By knowing I’m a hopeless romantic and where my weak spots are. By listening to red flags when I first see them and by understanding the type of men I gravitate towards.
You say you’ll have to remember
what I like for next time.
But there never was a next time.
It was a last time
And I wish I held on a little bit longer
I wish I could still remember
the feel of your skin
and the sound of your voice.
And I wish I didn’t have to remember at all.
I’m not afraid to fall in love with you
I’m just afraid to fall deeper than you.
There have only been 2 before you
that consumed me this way.
Neither ended well
but I’m not ready to give up on you yet.
I’m hoping you’ll break this pattern
and answer as my heart calls out to you.
I tell you everything,
and I know all your secrets.
You tell me about your day,
but I already know every word you’re going to say.
You know what makes me smile and
I know what keeps you up at night.
I tell you all my fears
and you tell me all the places you want to go.
You hold me tight when nothing’s going right.
Quarterly favorites review, June Issue!
Favorite show: I’ve been watching The Guardian on Hulu which originally ran from 2001 to 2004. It’s about a corporate lawyer that ends up having to perform community serve at a children’s legal services office. I’m just finishing season 1 now and it’s been good!
Favorite tweet: My Twitter page
Favorite blog post: Where I Ache is officially released!!! Get your copy here!!
Favorite phase /word to say: “what is happening “ Brooklyn 99, love this show!
Favorite thing you did: My sister’s wedding!!!!
Favorite artist: I’ve been loving Morgan Wallen’s Whiskey Glasses
Favorite Poem: My Best Friend here, another oldie but goodie.
You kiss my forehead every time I cry.
When we say “I love you” butterflies fly.
And when you look into my eyes, my heart nearly dies.
Never felt for a man, what I feel for you.