How to get over someone

Getting over someone is tough. There’s no right way to do it but we tend to beat ourselves up over it anyway. Here are some ideas that could help you move on after heartbreak. And we all know getting over someone you never actually dated is the hardest so I hope this helps there!

 

1. Stop talking to them and stop stalking their socials, separate them out of your life. You need to remember what life is like without them and realize you have the strength to carry on.

 

2. Write a list of all the reasons it didn’t work out or why they’re not right for you – read it to yourself whenever you forget. Tell your friends about everything that went wrong so they can keep your gentle heart safe.

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3. Delete cute texts and pictures. I’m willing to let you keep any texts when you guys were fighting or he was showing his true colors. You might need to be brought back down to reality if you’ve been daydreaming about the good old days for too long. You’ll need all the help you can get when your heart feels weak.

 

4. The mind is an amazing creature but she will create these fantasies and forget the pain. You have to stay busy and keep your mind off of whoever you’re trying to get over.

 

5. Stay busy and stay social. You still have friends that can fill in your ex’s spot on any adventure! I know you may feel lonely and like a huge chuck of your life is suddenly missing but Life is still awesome and fun on your own. It may take a few tries to remember that.

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6.  Cry about it if you need to. Avoiding and pushing your emotions down will just delay the real healing. Even if it was only an almost relationship, your feelings are real and validate.

 

7. Throw out anything they gave you or that reminds you of them. You don’t really need material possessions and it helps make the break up more real for you.

 

8. Remember your goals and desires before you knew them. Focus energy back on yourself. Until someone can appreciate your energy, focus it all on you.

 

June Playlist – Break Up

 

1.Make You Miss Me (2014)

Sam Hunt immediately starts explaining this wishy-washy personality of a girl he’s dating or talking to. She always wants the newest things and is quick to ditch when the next big thing rolls around. Sam doesn’t deny the break up but he is convinced she caught feelings and will miss him. She won’t be able to move on to the next thing because she’s still hoping he’ll text her late at night. It seems like the roles are finally going to reverse and she’ll experience the heartbreak she’s always dishing out. Every little tiny thing is going to be a reminder of the love she lost.  

 

2. If I Loved You (2012)

Delta Rae is a heartbreaker in this song. She wishes she loved this man the way she should and the way he deserves but those deep feelings just aren’t there. It could be such a great love and on the surface it probably is, but in her heart she truly knows it’s not enough. They are so close to happily ever after and it just breaks your heart that this relationship can’t last forever.

 

3. Missed Calls (2011)

The Late Mac Miller sings of a relationship in turmoil and they’re having so many problems that he doesn’t feel like they’re on the same page anymore. The catchy chorus is where the title comes from as Mac raps about the voicemails his girlfriend is leaving, saying she thinks she has to walk away from this deteriorating relationship. It seems like the relationship has changed over the years or perhaps they have changed as individuals since Mac got famous. They both wish to go back to how they were but they know that isn’t really possible anymore. 

 

4. Burn (2004)

Usher belts out this song as this relationship burns out. He seems the end coming and it will only hurt later on to drag this relationship out any longer. The break up seems to be one sided and it really pulls at the heartstrings when you know someone is trying to hold on when the other is pulling away. The song takes a turn as Usher regrets the break up! He wishes for her back and misses the connection they had, but the relationship has already burned down.

 

5. Somebody that I Used to Know (2012)

Gotye had just all belting this out that summer! I had never been in a relationship at the time but boy did I feel that break up! Although, it may be a mutual break up it still hurts when you’re completely ignored and feel the person trying to erase the relationship. In a very clever use of the title, Gotye hints to a possible cheating scenario in the final verse. 

Does a Heart that Big ever feel too Heavy?

You give so much of yourself so freely.

So freely, I wonder how there is any of you left.

But you are bright, full, and soft.

 

I want to keep getting my fill of you

All while telling you to guard your heart for once.

There are pieces of you 

in people that did not deserve you.

But I know with a heart your size,

You didn’t even miss the flakes that fell. 

 

-March 2020

March Playlist – Newly Single

If you’re Newly Single, I’m here for you girl!! It’s time to hit the bar and break some hearts!! Let’s jam out!!! (click on the years to be taken to the music videos!)

 

1.Miss Me More (2017)

Kelsea Ballerini sings about the changes she made to make her boyfriend happy in their relationship. She’s facing the fears and worries she had about being single again. She’s remembering dreams and happy memories of the person she used to be. She realizes she’s happier on her own and the new freedom she has.

 

2.Buy my own Drinks (2019)  

Runaway June This songs starts out with Runaway June being recently single and going out to the bar by herself. Post break up, its good to stay busy and not hide yourself away in your room. This song is about finding your independence again and not needing a man for any of the things you might find them doing during a night out. In the end, she knows she doesn’t need anyone else, she can take care of herself. 

 

3.Do Better (2018)  

Lil Donald This song is all about finally not being sad anymore about a break up. You’re feeling better, you’re looking better and you’re remembering that you deserve better than your past relationship. You realize that he’s not treating you right and you deserve someone loyal and faithful. You deserve a real man who will show you how much he appreciates you.

 

4.Feeling Good as Hell (2016)  

Lizzo is here to pick you back up and dry your tears. She’s reminding you that you’re looking good and should be feeling even better. This relationship has been getting you down and it’s time to leave that behind so you can go back to being the Boss of your life. He’s no longer draining your energy, you can focus on yourself and achieve all your goals. 

 

5.Don’t start now (2019)  

Dua Lipa is letting us know how quickly she recovered from a break up. It seems like maybe he was the one to initiate the break up and thought she might be brokenhearted for longer. But she’s already putting herself out there and meeting new people and if he doesn’t want to see her out here living life then he should stay home. I really enjoy this little jab she gets in during the chorus ‘walk away, you know how’. She’s already moved on and he doesn’t need to concern himself with where she is now.

 

Post Break Up Cliches

There so many Cliches for how people act post break up, here are all the ones I fell into. Let me know in the comments which ones you fell into!

 

Posting on social media a lot

I wanted to quickly start moving on with my life and put distance between myself and this chapter that had just ended. Visually it helped to see a lot of recent photos being added to instagram. It helped seeing that I was still living life, that it wasn’t over just because my relationship was.

 

Reconnected with friends  

I didn’t drop my friends when I entered a relationship. There were friends that I had drifted away from for years and it just coincidentally happened that they reached out a month or so after my relationship ended. It was great timing though since I suddenly had a lot more time on my hands. And what can I say, around the holidays there are a lot of reunions lol.

 

Falling back to what’s familiar  

I’ll bring you all back to 2016 with Stubborn (I cringe even linking this because I was so delusional back then, and now) . He’s a friend for many years that I connected to and he was always a sort of comfort while I was struggling through the dating world. I’m not interested in meeting anyone new but Stubborn is familiar and safe. I wanted a friend and distraction from loneliness.

 

Trying to lose that relationship weight  

Let’s be honest, we all put on that relationship 20 -40lb. As soon as you get on dating apps you realize that 80% of the profiles mention going to the gym or some form of activity. So single again, you have to start putting effort into your appear. You’re funny, kind, and smart but if we’re honest, a photo doesn’t spell that out for everyone.

 

Other cliches that I did not fall into:

 

Hop right back in the dating scene

As they love to say ‘the best way to get over someone, is to get under someone new’. Honestly the idea of talking to someone new, let alone going on a date, is one of the last things I want to do. I’m just not interested. 

 

Reinvent myself

I still have the same hobbies as when I was in a relationship. I’m not chopping all my hair off or hanging out with a party hard crowd. Maybe some minor changes but I like who I am and when I’m ready, someone else will too.

 

Cry into a tub of ice cream  

I love ice cream but I don’t need that emotional crutch. I have a lot more free time on my hands but I’m not miserable and sad because of it. I’m focused on my family and school these days and my blog has never been better.

 

Reach back out to my ex

I had thought a lot about my future with my ex before deciding to end things so I knew that when I was done, I was really and truly done. I had given that relationship all my effort and I realized it wasn’t how I wanted to spend my future. I have no left over feelings or need for additional closure so I don’t want to reach back out again.