Inspired

Life didn’t turn out the way I planned

But because of you is how I still stand

you’re the solid ground beneath my feet

you stand strong even when I accept defeat

when my heart grew too tired

You were the beauty that kept me inspired

It felt like mountains I was trying to get through

I would have given up by now if it wasn’t for you

 

-2011

Morning

A trail of tears down my skin

Scars littering my soul

My body aching with exhaustion

You may think I’m weak

But I haven’t lost this war yet

I don’t fear the dark

Because some of it lives inside of me

It’s the mornings that are hard to face.

Every morning is a new obstacle to face

But every morning I must try again

Let’s Showcase Your Blog!

Hey fellow bloggers!

I’m interested in reblogging any articles from any blogs that write about dating, poetry, or just some good old fashion life advice!

So feel free to tag me on one of your articles, comment here. or go to my contact page so I know which post you want reblogged! Make sure to mention the phrase “Project LoveFest” !

I’ll be doing this all the way to the New Year !!

Edit 10/16: As of now every Wednesday will be a day dedicated to each blogger who has written in to me via comment or email and it’s in order of first come first serve. If more bloggers contact me then Fridays might also become a dedication day. Thanks everyone for making Project LoveFest a success, spread the love! <3

Getting Back in the Saddle

It’s difficult to change your mindset or routine because it requires conscious effort and work. It’s easy to just continue life on auto pilot, never leaving your comfort zone. But that’s a pretty limited area and there’s not enough room to grow. I haven’t been on a date in 6 months. After yet another potential relationship crashing before even getting off the ground, I was somewhat hopeless about my future.

I tended to my wounds in private and back to the comfort of my own company. It was safe here, no hope to shatter nor vulnerability to fear. Eventually dating finally held my interest again for longer than a few weeks. I found myself talking to a very nice boy, one with old fashion manners and quite the infatuation with me. His compliments and sweet nature warmed me up to a coffee date.

It was horrible. I mean he was nice still but I left feeling very uncomfortable like even a shower wouldn’t be able to shake this feeling. Of course, that night I ended things with him and he very quickly stopped being nice.

Luckily, I was talking to someone else in which I was able to have very deep and honest conversations with early on. These sensitive topics allowed us to form a connection quickly and two weeks later we met for coffee as well. The honesty we had formed did have one little downside though, as he seemed to have a habit of telling me about the other girls he was talking to and taking on dates. Perhaps I could cut him some slack for the lack of dating etiquette though since he had been in two long-term relationships back to back within the past 5 years.

Although I was thrilled to find a guy my age who isn’t afraid of relationships, I was a little worried he would care more about that romantic attention than he would actually care for me. That issue was easily avoided though because he realized long distance didn’t speed up the healing process when a three-year relationship ends.

Maybe I still needed a few more months of healing myself.

However, I had already set up two more dates and canceling them the day before seemed a bit too rude. The next guy was also nice and I’m pleased to have started a fairly good track record of only going on dates with nice boys ever since Mr. Right taught how I really deserved to be treated. Unfortunately for dater #3, I wasn’t really experiencing those romantic feelings for him.

It wasn’t until my final date that getting back in the saddle finally seemed worth it. Interestingly, it was someone I had talked to nearly a year ago who I had written off before even meeting. A common interest on my social media had persuaded him to text me. I explained the notions I had of him last time and why I believed we stopped talking. He did his best to clear things up and quickly introduced the idea of meeting so I could finally get to know the real him. I’m glad for second chances because I couldn’t have been more wrong about his personality. He was good at encouraging me to speak my mind and (ahem, mom cover your eyes) an even better kisser.

Stepping out of your comfort zone is never easy but in order to go after your goals and desires, you have to find the courage to take a leap and saddle up. There’s risks of failure and vulnerability but the success and happiness you find could be well worth it in the end.

The Woman who Still Stands

I will not apologize for who I am

My sharp edges

My brutal honesty

My trust issues that push you away

I am not the same girl I once was

Abandonment has sanded me down

Hurt and disappointment have molded me

Through the vulnerable flames she has emerged

Weathered through every storm

She is what survived

She is the reason I’m alive

And for that I will never apologize.

-Aug 2017

My First Scar

Maybe I’m so angry at you

because you remind me of him.

And I’m mad at myself for being the fool yet again

for not valuing myself like I deserve.

But it’s easier to blame you than to face myself

I can just leave you instead of fixing me

I was so innocent and open

when his dismissal slashed through me.

Poke the scar just right with your condescending tone

and it still pulses like it’s alive.

-June 2017

Nature

It’s going to hurt

you’ll lose more often than you’ll win.

My feet are torn and aching from all the traveling

it’s a long journey trying to undo all that life hurls at you.

So rest your head on the soft bed of grass tonight

And tomorrow you may wake up to smell the fresh meadows in the sunlight

Live

You’ve only just gone

but I miss you already.

I told you to Take care and be good

I know I can’t hold you now, but just know I wish I could.

 

I know you’ll make it through

and it won’t always be this heavy.

You never deserved this pain

but it will make you the strongest man one day.

You have so much good to still give

so come on baby, just live.

 

-November 2016

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