What are you looking for on here


In order to not waste each other’s time, an early question in the online dating world will be “What are you looking for on here?”. 

You never want to start off as seeming desperate so you always play it cool. Originally, I would go for an open ended, lighthearted response because I know boys scare easily. But now, if the idea of a relationship scares you then I don’t even want to waste my time hand holding you through the beginning of a relationship.

And that’s why I hate guys who say they’re 

“taking it day by day” 

“wherever it leads is where I end up” 

“nothing in particular” 

“just seeing how things go” 

“idk what I’m looking for”

(all actual quotes I’ve received)

I get not wanting to come off too strong but these guys just don’t care at alllll. I hate the wishy washy, could take it or leave it attitude. I want someone who cares and puts in effort. Who shows respect and potential. I know finding a real match is difficult and a lot of dating is ‘seeing how things go’ but I want someone who is mentally and emotionally ready to commit. 

These are guys that are just not as desperate as the guys who say they’re straight up looking for a good time. But they both are looking for the same thing. Casual, surface level companionship. They’re just trying to spin it a little differently so you’ll be fooled into thinking they really care about you. 

I’m looking for a boyfriend and I know these guys aren’t looking to settle down anytime soon and I’m not going to waste my time on that. I know friends with benefits can turn into a real relationship but that’s the exception to the rule and I’m not counting on beating the odds with that one. 

Unfortunately, some people just use dating apps as a way to pass the time and stave off boredom. It seems I’ve been running into a lot of them lately.

Tinder’s Swipe Night

Tinder seems to be out with a new marketing tool in order to get users on the app. It’s called Swipe Night!

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October 6th was the first I ever saw of this so I’m not sure how long it’s been going on for but I can tell you about this series. This series seems to be 4 episodes long which means it runs from October 6th to the 27th. It’s only on Sundays from 6PM -midnight, I’m assuming it knows everyone’s time zones so perhaps hours vary.

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So the deal is you watch a 5 minute video making 3 decisions along the way that shapes your adventure. You can later learn if other users make the same choices you did. This series follows a Comet Party that turns into an end of the world scenario. Chaos ensues and it’s up to you to decide where you want to go, if you want to help anyone, and some other minor decisions. It’s quick, easy to use, and fairly entertaining so I say it’s a good job done by the Tinder Marketing team.

The first episode was probably my favorite perhaps because it was knew but definitely because it asked a really good question. In this series you have 3 friends that talk to you. You quickly learn your male friend is cheating on his girlfriend and you have the option to Tell the Girlfriend or Keep the Secret. Then when you’re swiping you can see which answer your suitors picked and immediately know where their values lie.

Here’s how it looks when you’re on someone’s profile:

For anything you both have in common, it’s in Blue. On the left you can see I only had 1 choice in common and more importantly to me, they choose to cover for their friend and hide the cheating.

On the right, I ended the episode at the same spot and we had 2 other choices in common. From the 3 answers I could say we both value honest and like puppies. And he could say I’m more social media obsessed than he is. So you could learn some useful things without having to ask in conversation. Seeing the answers could also be a conversation starter.

In later episodes, I’ve noticed that I sometimes picked a choice that the game/ video didn’t agree with and ‘my friends’/the actors would say something that would redirect us to how the game wants the episode to play out. Noticing this, I then considered picking the more aggressive choice just to see how the virtual game would play out. If you continue on this trend then sharing common answers with other users becomes useless.

The biggest issue of all though, is that after you play the episode you can then go back to swiping but that Sunday night, the app does not seem to factor in location at all. I consider it a waste because that night I would mainly see profiles 40- 99 miles away from my location. No one I would ever realistically end up meeting in person and pointless to form any connection as it would never develop into anything else.

Now Tinder does have a bit of a reputation for being an app that people regular swipe on but don’t necessarily talk on and even more rarely meet through. That’s the only explanation I have for the algorithm excluding location on episode nights. The next day the app is essentially back to normal and you can still see answers from people locally.

Overall, Swipe Night is unique and interesting. It’s useful in getting users on the app but probably doesn’t improve match ratings at all.