Why friends are the best at judging boyfriends

Over two years ago I wrote an article about friends judging you when they judge your boyfriend and reading that article again now, I still agree with it as a whole. But now I’m writing the other side of that coin.

Your friends absolutely love you. They see you as a bright, caring, and supportive friend. They can recall all the times you helped them out in a tough situation and all the laughs you’ve shared together to survive school drama.

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They see you as your boyfriend should see you and that is why they are the best at judging if someone is right for you. They know how lucky your boyfriend is to have you and they want to make sure he knows it too. He couldn’t find a better girlfriend if he tried and they’ll make sure he doesn’t take that for granted.

They’re protective of you because they know your dating history and they don’t want to see you hurt again. They’ve seen you get dragged down by fixer uppers and they know you’ll put up with more than you should because you fear being lonely. They also know you haven’t had that good guy to show you how good a relationship should be. They want you to find that good guy. They want this boyfriend of yours to be that guy.

 

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But your friends are also not caught up in all the mushy emotions that fog up your decision making. They won’t let a guy string you along just because he’s hot. This outside perspective is able to judge character well. Your friends know what’s best for you and want you to have it.

They want to support you and they want to have a good relationship with your boyfriend so that you’re never left picking sides. But they also want you to be happy and receiving the love you deserve. If those two aren’t lining up though, they’ll hopefully speak up so that you don’t get hurt. And hopefully, you’ll listen.

 

 

25 before 25 list

It’s time to see how I did on my list of 25 before 25.

 

1. Go on a caribbean trip

6 month check in: I’ve finally booked a trip for February!

Totally lied lol, we ended up using that money to go to California instead!

 

2. Figure out how all this self hosting works (how can I find my view sessions?! lol)

6 month check in: It’s a work in progress.

It’s actually going well!! Last month, I reached my highest monthly view yet! I also became a member of a few affiliation programs and made $12 from Google Adsense, so slowly but surely I’m figuring it all out!

 

3. Breakeven on my self hosting investment

6 month check in: That is definitely not happening lol

One of the things I often discredit is that my books are actually products so the money I make there could be used to counter my self hosting costs. First year, I did not make money, but maybe I’ll breakeven this second year.

 

4. Sell 100 copies of my debut poetry collection Cracked Open in its first 6 months

6 month check in: haha definitely not… but I have made over $100 so I’ll take what I can get

Cracked Open is a year old and I am definitely not near 100 sold copies but I do have high hopes that Where I Ache will do much better than my first collection. Fingers crossed!!!

collections

 

5. Go hiking regularly in the warm weather

6 month check in: I didn’t get out much as I wanted it

I’m hopeful I can get back into hiking this Spring/Summer!

 

6. Advance my career

6 month check in: Still hoping to

I’m actually switching career paths! I’m very excited to be heading in a new, happier direction.

 

7. Write 125 new poems

6 month check in: I’m at about 50 so I’ll probably only get to 100

In addition to this 50, I also wrote over 50 exclusively for Where I Ache! But I fell short of 125 by a few since I’ve been using my older poems on the blog.

 

8. Create some healthy eating habits

6 month check in: Some weeks I do, some weeks I don’t

I don’t have the self discipline for this… lol

 

9. Be more active with my dog

6 month check in: Definitely taking my dog on more walks

Had to slow down with the winter weather but I’m planning some doggie park adventures!

 

10. Go kayaking

6 month check in: Didn’t get to it this summer

I think I’ll try something else this summer, leave some suggestions in the comments!

 

11. Go to a concert

6 month check in: I didn’t this summer but who knows with the holidays

I went to a Post Malone concert on New Year’s Eve with my boyfriend!!

 

12. Publish 200 new posts

6 month check in: I post 3 times a week and with 52 weeks in year, I’ll be about 50 short. (should have done some better math before making this goal lol)

Still fell short but I actually have switched my posts from 10 times a month to 12-13 monthly so I am posting more content!

 

13. Dye my hair a new color

6 month check in: Indeed I did! It’s blonde now

Check out my different hair colors through the years!

 

14. Start organizing for my next poetry collection

6 month check in: You know it! I have over a 100 poems ready for this one.

WHERE I  ACHE COMING OUT JUNE 10TH!!!!!! Guys I am soooo excited!! I’m so happy that this collection is longer than the first and features a lot more diverse content. I’m also so so happy that I got to work with my boyfriend for this project!! Grab your copy of Where I Ache to see his amazing illustrations!!!

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15. Surprise my boyfriend (no more details incase he reads this)

6 month check in: I surprised him with a dinner cruise for our 1 year anniversary!

This reminds me that I need to do something nice for my boyfriend! He puts up with a lot from me haha

 

16. Grow Blog and Twitter following immensely (hard to put a number on it right now)

6 month check in: I’ve been working hard at this one!

From April 2018 to this April my blog gained 1,810 followers

From April 2018 to this April my twitter gained 2,595 followers

 

17. Get another tattoo

6 month check in: I’m not in a rush and I’m still thinking about what I might want

Since I’m changing career paths I need to be more financially conscious so this is on hold for a while.

 

18. Attend a sporting event

6 month check in: My boyfriend took me to a baseball game.

I also saw a college basketball game!

 

19. Have half of the finances needed to buy a house

6 month check in: I think I’ll reach this goal

Starting on a new career path is going to push me back a few years unfortunately.

 

20. Visit another state

6 month check in: I think I will be, still working out the details

Went to California with my boyfriend over the winter!!

 

21. Visit 20 new places

6 month check in: I’ve been to quite a few new restaurants and local attractions.

I think I’ve reached this one!

 

22. Go to the golf range more often

6 month check in: Nah didn’t happen

I’m not as interested in this goal this spring.

 

23. Go on a boat ride

6 month check in: You bet I did!

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24. Get stronger so I can start seeing my chiropractor less

6 month check in: I am seeing the doctor less

I haven’t seen my chiropractor at all this year and I’ve only had a few shoulder flare ups!

 

25. Have some adventures this summer – fun and carefree!

6 month check in: I definitely got to do some new things and see some new places!

Summer is around the corner yet again, I can’t wait to get a tan and spend time with my family!! Lots of celebrations coming!

 

Is your guy relationship material?

You’ve been seeing this guy for a few weeks or months and things are going great! You’re hanging out together regularly and you’ve talked about the relationship progressing from exclusive to fully committed and official. There are some telltale signs to show that you’re guy is really ready and good relationship material.

 

Communicates

He’s communicating about his feelings and thoughts, your feelings or thoughts, or just about the weekend plans together. He’s asking about your day and filling you in on his.

 

Makes Plans for the Future

He’s looking past just the next few days with you and plans into the future. He’s thinking about concerts, festivals, and gatherings with close ones that are weeks and months into the future. He sees you in that future, not just a present short term relationship.

 

He Factors you into his Future

When he’s thinking about his future he’s including you and considering how it will work for the two of you together. This may come a bit further along but when considering school, work, or big financial decisions, he’s factoring in how it will affect the relationship and how to make the future work cohesively.

 

Improving Himself

He’s improving himself for his future and himself with your support and motivation. He wants to make sure he’s the man you want.

 

He tries to connect with your friends and family

He knows your friends and family are an important part of your life and he wants work on integrating himself into your social world. The relationship doesn’t need the added pressure of your friends or family not approving of him so he’ll work to make sure that doesn’t happen.

 

Driving Me Crazy

You’re going to drive me crazy

with the nonsense talking

when I’m trying to sleep

the dirty dishes in the sink

how you always make me late

I never knew I had such little patience

until I met you.

But don’t worry, I’m not driving anywhere

I wouldn’t want it to be

anyone else driving me crazy but you.

 

-Nov 2018 (+)

 

Thank you for seeing the good in me I couldn’t see myself

For so many years I’ve felt like I was hard to love

But darling, you make it look so easy.

You do so much for me without batting an eye

And I wonder if I would be able to do the same.

You walk through Hell like it’s the route

to take home every night.

 

-Sept 2018 +