How to help your partner through tough times

In life, you face a lot of struggle. You might grieve a lost loved one, lose a job, or face a dispute with a friend. Fortunately, you usually have people in your life you can lean on including your partner. Tragedy affects everyone differently so if this is the first time you’re helping your partner through something, you might not know the best way to comfort them.

 

Let Them Know You’re There

There can be a lot of thoughts rushing through their head at this time, they may feel that expressing their feelings are a burden for you or they might be so consumed that they haven’t thought of you to lean on. So you let them know you’re there for them offering support in any way they want or need. You’re ready for when they want to talk. You’re a shoulder and open ear.

 

Read the Room

Some people want to talk out their issues, others prefer to silently work through things on their own. You may think how you’d react during this hard time and may think you know what’s best for your partner. But they may deal with their grief in a different way then you do. Keep an open mind to this and try to not take it personally if they are keep their emotions close to their chest. Don’t project your own ideals onto them and don’t push them for what they’re not ready for.

 

Validate their Feelings

Writing things down on paper or talking out your concerns is a good healing process for the soul. Sometimes you just need to vent or cry or scream – you just want to be heard. So validate your partner’s feelings. There doesn’t always need to be a solution or plan of action. Be a soundboard as they navigate through this new territory.

 

Know it’s always an ongoing process after losing a loved one.

Losing a loved one will hit you in new and unsuspecting ways. A tv show, a street sign, a song could all bring memories rushing back even after time has passed. The loss will still ache whether it’s years or months. Anniversaries and special holidays will always be tender for your partner. There is no start and end to this healing process, it will ease both of your minds to accept this. Just because there are tears today does not mean there will be tears tomorrow, so don’t worry or judge when you’re having a hard day. You will always remember them because they are always with you.

 

To my Knees

I don’t normally fall to my knees

But before you, I did

By your bedside, I did

Too late, I did.

I don’t talk to Him anymore

But to you I will

I said my goodbyes and well wishes.

I asked you to look over those surrounding me.

I tried to be brave and selfless,

so I told you not to worry about me.

But to my knees, I fall again.

 

-September 2018

Weeping Hurricane

I’m sorry this is how your life story ends

You cried easily this year

When she showed you her wedding dress you cried

And when i showed you this book, the tears fell again.

The clouds were nice enough to cry the day after you passed.

I wonder if there’s a part of you that’s happy

When you see the wet cheeks of those who love you.

And I wonder if you feel ashamed for feeling that way.
-September 2018

I Don’t Know How to Handle Missing You

A moment alone and my thoughts lead me straight to you

And my heart breaks over and over again

How can anyone else can handle this pain in their chest?

I want to write about you

But i’ve already cried too much today

I think about you

And it’s like i’m reliving it all over again

Cant even write the word funeral

Without tears falling

I hope you know that I love you

With how much it hurts to write it

And not be able to tell you.
-July 2018

Asking for Support Today

I would normally not do this type of post but I’ve been getting much more involved in the blogger community this summer and have seen so much support and made so many connections.

My Aunt was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer last summer and has shown such strength taking on this battle every day. I’ll be participating in a fundraiser walk in just a few weeks to show support to my Aunt and The Lustgarten pancreatic cancer research foundation as they continue to search for a cure.

If you have an extra $5 or $10 in your pocket today, any donation is deeply appreciated.

And if you don’t, just spread some extra love this month, you never know who needs it <3

Thank you, talk soon, and take care xx