I Wonder If I Cross Your Mind

I wonder if your sister ever got married.

I wonder what you taste like.

I wonder if your friend likes his job out of state.

I wonder how strong your arms

would feel wrapped around me.

 

I wonder if you wonder about me.

I wonder if you remember the details of my life

like I do yours. 

I wonder how deep your love

could fill my chest.

I wish I didn’t have to wonder at all. 

 

 

-Sept 2019

Documentary Recommendation Recap!

I just wanted to recap all the documentary recommendation articles in case you missed any! I think the ones listed below are the most interesting documentaries of each series but you should definitely click on series 5 because there were many many good documentaries in the crime category!

 

Series 1 Fraud & Cover Ups

The Devil We Know (Netflix) – Would Recommend

Devil dives into DuPont’s responsibility in the health risks of their teflon products. The doc touches on specific people affected and their stories as well as widening the scope to see how far it’s deadly consequences have reached. It’s terrifying and tragic how harmful and deadly telfon is and how companies like DuPont would rather death over profit loss.

 

Series 2 Abductions & Abuse

Behind Closed Doors (Netflix) – Would Recommend

Behind Closed Doors is a british film following the story of 3 women fighting domestic violence. It is incredible interesting to see all the complicated emotions that they go through and just how deep these wounds go. From an outside perspective, domestic abuse seems so straightforward – if they hit you, you leave. But love is irrational and there is no reasoning with that primitive emotion. These women are all incredibly strong for fighting these men through the court system and for battling with their own complex feelings daily.

 

Series 3 Documentaries to Skip

Children of God (Netflix) – Would Not Recommend

This documentary follows the memories of a family that lived in a Cult for many years. The first interesting thing about this cult was that the leader wasn’t with the rest of the cult, he just sent letters from a secret location. It’s interesting that the leader had such a presence without even being present. It focused heavily on child abuse and sexual abuse with interviews from the one family that has since left the cult. The cult even featured promotional videos that were essentially children undressing to song.

The other focus was on the sexual activities the wives were essentially forced to do such as sleeping with other husbands and members of the cult as well as sleeping with men in the outside community in order to entice them to join the cult (flirty fishing). It’s a sad documentary as the grown children recount their stories of sexual harassment and rape and dealing with the complicated resentment they have with their mother for putting them in such an environment. It’s disturbing and heartbreaking, and not at the top of my list of recommendations.

 

Series 4 Animals

Dogs (series – Netflix) – Would Not Recommend

There are 6 episodes in this docuseries following a different dog(s) in each episode. I only watched the first two and the fifth episode because those stories seemed most interesting to me. The first was a young teen girl still struggling through getting a hold on her epilepsy. She will be receiving a service dog who will help to recognize when she’s about to go into a seizure and help bring her out of it. You learn a bit more about service dogs, different jobs they can do, and the initial training they have with their new owner. The episode unfortunately ends shortly after the dog goes home with the family so you don’t know exactly how it all turns out.

The second episode is a dog named Zeus who is stuck in Syria while his owner was able to escape on a work visa to Germany (or somewhere). Zeus has been staying with a friend who is also in hiding and it’s not safe for any of them in that warzone. Zeus traveling through borders by car and plane. There are a few hurdles along the way and you’re not sure if Zeus will be reunited with his owner. Everyone loves Zeus and you feel for the friends that are now losing that piece of light in that terrifying war.

The fifth episode is about Territorio De Zaguates in Costa Rico. It’s very possible you’ve heard about it as it’s a bit of a tourist attraction that you can run with hundreds of dogs on the multi acre shelter. This shelter never turns away a dog and it warms your heart to see them get taken off the streets. As the episode unfolds though, you being to question if they’re taking on more dogs than they can handle. Food, money, water, shelter, staff, and vet visits is a lot for any shelter to take on but at this size you wonder if more is always better.

 

Series 5 Crime

I am Innocent (series – Netflix) Would Recommend

This New Zealand crime docuseries is 6 episodes following 6 different cases ranging from murders, juvenile criminals, and family cases. Based on the title you can assume that all criminals telling their story are innocent and have been wrongly convicted. You find out the details of the crime, where things went wrong, and how things were later resolved for the unjustly convicted criminals. After each episode I wanted to go tell my friends and family about this insane, unjust, and true story.

How to help your partner through tough times

In life, you face a lot of struggle. You might grieve a lost loved one, lose a job, or face a dispute with a friend. Fortunately, you usually have people in your life you can lean on including your partner. Tragedy affects everyone differently so if this is the first time you’re helping your partner through something, you might not know the best way to comfort them.

 

Let Them Know You’re There

There can be a lot of thoughts rushing through their head at this time, they may feel that expressing their feelings are a burden for you or they might be so consumed that they haven’t thought of you to lean on. So you let them know you’re there for them offering support in any way they want or need. You’re ready for when they want to talk. You’re a shoulder and open ear.

 

Read the Room

Some people want to talk out their issues, others prefer to silently work through things on their own. You may think how you’d react during this hard time and may think you know what’s best for your partner. But they may deal with their grief in a different way then you do. Keep an open mind to this and try to not take it personally if they are keep their emotions close to their chest. Don’t project your own ideals onto them and don’t push them for what they’re not ready for.

 

Validate their Feelings

Writing things down on paper or talking out your concerns is a good healing process for the soul. Sometimes you just need to vent or cry or scream – you just want to be heard. So validate your partner’s feelings. There doesn’t always need to be a solution or plan of action. Be a soundboard as they navigate through this new territory.

 

Know it’s always an ongoing process after losing a loved one.

Losing a loved one will hit you in new and unsuspecting ways. A tv show, a street sign, a song could all bring memories rushing back even after time has passed. The loss will still ache whether it’s years or months. Anniversaries and special holidays will always be tender for your partner. There is no start and end to this healing process, it will ease both of your minds to accept this. Just because there are tears today does not mean there will be tears tomorrow, so don’t worry or judge when you’re having a hard day. You will always remember them because they are always with you.

 

To my Knees

I don’t normally fall to my knees

But before you, I did

By your bedside, I did

Too late, I did.

I don’t talk to Him anymore

But to you I will

I said my goodbyes and well wishes.

I asked you to look over those surrounding me.

I tried to be brave and selfless,

so I told you not to worry about me.

But to my knees, I fall again.

 

-September 2018

Weeping Hurricane

I’m sorry this is how your life story ends

You cried easily this year

When she showed you her wedding dress you cried

And when i showed you this book, the tears fell again.

The clouds were nice enough to cry the day after you passed.

I wonder if there’s a part of you that’s happy

When you see the wet cheeks of those who love you.

And I wonder if you feel ashamed for feeling that way.
-September 2018