How are you still single?

When you’re out in the dating world, a time or two you’ll probably hear this:

How do you not have a boyfriend already?

(normally continued with ‘you’re so great’)

I’m not sure if it’s my history with self esteem or if everyone feels this way, but this question definitely gives me pause. I think this phrase could be termed as a backhanded compliment since it comes off as a compliment but it’s challenging you as well. 

 

It’s pretty confirmed that they think you’re great. They’re vibing with you and playing with the thought of you as a girlfriend. They’re thinking “I totally want to date this girl. Wait how is she not wifed up already? Is something wrong with her that everyone else sees but I don’t?”. Basically, they want to know if you’re single because all the guys you dated were crazy or because they all ran away from your crazy. They’re worried you might be too good to be true and they just haven’t found your glaring flaw yet.

 

Your answer could give them very important information:

You could say you recently became single and they may realize you’re not over your ex or just not ready to get back in the dating game yet. 

 

You could tell them that you just haven’t found the right one yet, which could mean you’re really picky and high maintenance. Or it could just mean that your small town doesn’t have a ton of options! Or you’re a girl with standards who isn’t going to settle!

 

You could tell them that you just haven’t had the time. Is it because you’re focused on your career, you’re very independent, or you’re actually too scared to put yourself out there and that’s your best excuse?

 

 

They’re also testing you, they’re putting you up against a wall a bit. You now have to prove yourself to them that there’s nothing wrong with you. They’re poking you to see if any flaws fall out. It’s a compliment that requires an explanation as a response. People want answers, they want to know they’re not being fooled. It’s not the innocent compliment it comes off as.

 

Blog Tour Author Interview and Review by Beckie Writes

Where I Ache consists of 6 chapters, which one is your favorite?
I feel like saying My Soothing Arms, the self love chapter, would be too cliche and easy so I’m not going to pick that one. Instead, I’ll say My Weak Spine, the insecure/ self esteem chapter, is my favorite. I didn’t think I would be able to write about that topic in so many unique ways. I feel like different readers can all find a little piece of themselves just in that one chapter.

 

Now that you have two collections, are you playing favorites?
I honestly thought my first creative baby would always hold a special place in my heart. But I am so proud of the progress I’ve made in Where I Ache that it’s won me over. I’m thrilled that the collection is longer and I’ve more than double the amount of exclusive poems. I’m also proud to be writing about such sensitive topics and expanding my reach beyond just love poems. Lastly, I was able to work with my boyfriend on this second collection with him as my illustrator! He saved the day from my chicken scratch doodles haha.

 

Buy your copy of Where I Ache on Amazon

 

Read the full interview at Beckie Writes

Like the Way I Do

Just the other night

You asked me why I was here?

I asked if you wanted me to leave

You couldn’t look me in the eye when you asked next

how I could love someone like you.

Well baby, you have me just a little bit confused

because if you saw yourself like the way I do

then you would have no problem believing me like you should.

 

Truth is my heart soars every time you say I love you

I can’t help but feel weak every time you look at me

Darling, it’s the way our bodies melt into one when you hold me

The passion that always controls me whenever our lips touch.

 

-2010

 

Where I Ache Cover Reveal!!

It’s time to reveal Where I Ache’s cover!!!!

I really wanted the cover to be bright and sunny, a contrast from the heavy content inside. But I spent some time looking into various designs from Amazon’s Cover Creator and this just really spoke to me.

 

Screen Shot 2019-02-05 at 9.36.28 PM.png

 

Full cover to include blurb:

Screen Shot 2019-03-04 at 10.16.47 PM.png

What do you guys think? Is the blurb not insightful? Should I get rid of the Author’s photo?

New Poetry Collection coming out this June!

My second poetry collection Where I Ache will be published June 10th!!!!!

 

June 10th

June 10th

June 10th

June 10th

June 10th

 

This collection is broken up into six chapters ranging from themes such as jealousy, depression, grief, and strength. These are delicate subjects to talk about and most people avoid them because of the uncomfortable vulnerability. I’ve always written and shared my poetry with the hope that readers would relate, feel less alone, and more normal.

Sensitive subjects such as depression can really alienate people, make them feel like they’re different or a freak in some way, and like they have to suffer alone. I hope this collection will help those realize that others are going through this too and they don’t have to endure this burden on their own. In similar vein, I hope the topics of insecurity and grief will offer a lifeline to such isolating feelings and thoughts.

I am also very excited to progress as a poet and share a collection that does not solely focus on romantic love. Love collections aren’t highly respected by parts of the writing community so I look forward to sharing this new material and show my depth as a writer. I also believe the topics I’m writing about could use more spotlight in today’s society. Of course, a cornerstone of my poetry is love, so relationships will make their appearance in this collection as well.

 

Timeline of this collection:

Organizing Poems: September

-deciding which poems go together in a theme. seeing what other themes go together to create different chapters for a collection, working through chapter title names.

Writing new material: September – December

-finding the gaps where more poems are needed to fill a chapter and what chapters are lacking exclusive poems.

Editing: December – January

-arranging poems in an order that will display nicely on book pages, cutting out poems that no longer fit the book’s theme, formatting drawings on a page

Reviewing: January – February 

-sending out ARCs to beta readers for review, reviewing potential edits, ordering proofs

Promoting: March – June 10th!!!!

-sending out ARCs to book bloggers and setting blog tour, social media posts, blog articles, book photography, preorders and info links

 

From organizing my collection, I figured out where the holes in my collection were and what I needed to work on adding. I knew I wanted to build from my first collection so I made sure to add double the amount of exclusive poems from Cracked Open and overall, produce a longer collection.

When publishing my first collection, I realized some errors and included beta readers as part of my process for this collection. Marketing is extremely difficult as an indie author and I will definitely have to dedicate a lot of time and effort on marketing this new collection.

There will be a cover reveal on the 13th so make sure you don’t miss it!

I truly want to thank all of my supporters on here, without you Cracked Open would have never been born and Where I Ache would never have crossed my mine.